I used to like Jessica Simpson. I really did. She was gorgeous, she seemed fun to be around, and had a terrific smile. Now? I think she's nuts. After going through a number of boyfriends since her divorce from Nick Lachey, ol' girl just seems to keep getting worse and worse when it comes to relationship decisions. The latest bad decision?
Yeah, that's right, the same Billy Corgan who is a.) 42 years old and b.) the former front man for Smashing Pumpkins. What goes through your head when you're an attractive twenty-something and you decide to hook up with Billy freakin' Corgan? It's obvious that some things just aren't clicking between that girl's ears.
If she wants to make some sketchy decisions when it comes to her love life, I have an idea: date a 24-year-old blogger with a passion for sports and no steady career. It'd confuse people less than dating Billy Corgan, and you wouldn't have to deal with the inevitable bad breakup when he realizes that he's done enjoying himself with someone 15 years his junior. Heck, I even clean the house and do dishes! Wait, did I say "I"? Because I meant "he", as in the anonymous hypothetical guy I'm talking about.
So Jessica, get it together. I know things haven't really gone your way lately and you're feeling a little unwanted by legitimate guys. But that's no reason to sink to these depths. You're better than that...I think.
~~ Lank
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