What Do You Think the President Drinks?

So there has been a lot of buzz this week about our president inviting people to the white house to enjoy a few adult beverages as he mediates through some problem solving situations.

*Don't worry, this isn't a political blog and it isn't heading in that direction*

But it did make me think - What beverages would you have on tap if you were the President of the United States?

A Skip To My Lank poll was issued and results were as follows:


Skip - Coke, Minute Maid Orange Soda, Bud, Bud Light, Carlsburg, Samuel Adams and Heineken

Lank - Coke, Dr. Pepper, Orange Juice and Apple Juice

Dirk - Sweet Tea, Orange Sunkist, Cheerwine, Sun Drop, Coke, Bud Light, Highland Gaelic Ale and a bourbon

Big Brother - Bud, Bud Light and Mountain Dew

The White American - Bud Light, Newcastle, Heineken, Sweetwater 420 and Coke

Willy P - Coke, Water and Milk

Dr. Mustache - Lemonade, Stella Artois and Bud

Baseball Mom - Coke, Water, Grape Juice, Orange Juice, Milk and Lemonade

So with 8 respondents we can definitely see some favorite beverages across the board. Coke made the most presidential selections with 6 out of 8. Budweiser products also did very well amongst this small sampling straw poll make it to 5 out of the 8 tap rooms. Across the board you see a variety of beverages both alcoholic and non-alcoholic. But there are some things that stand out about peoples selections.

The real shocker, to me, is Willy P wanting water on tap. I have full respect for my elders (most of the time), but water? Really? Isn't water available at every sink in the White House? Do we really need a special tap to dispense it from a reservoir?

However what I do really respect is Willy P and Baseball Mom selecting milk. I love milk. I drink it at dinner time almost all the time. I grew up on drinking Milk several times a day. I almost wish I had thought of having milk on tap, because frankly, that would be awesome and useful.
Want some cereal? Here's some milk
Having cake? Here's some milk
Eating Oreos? Here's some milk
Just want strong bones? Milk.
You get the point.

I think it should be noted in closing that the most popular beer selected was Bud Light. This is a beer of the people. A beer for all mankind. A beer for beer drinking men. And according to the recent publications the beer of the President.

So to everyone out enjoying a pint, bottle, can or keg. Enjoy your beverage of choice and just know that one day you too might have the power and authority to have it on tap when ever you like.

~Dirk

California's Governor is Cooler Than Yours

Everybody needs to relax.

Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is under fire from (insert groups with no real purpose here) for wielding a huge knife in a video he posted on Twitter to thank California's citizens for coming up with ideas to slash the budget. To be fair, I have no idea why he's using Twitter to post videos. I think politicians using Twitter is silly, but that's neither here nor there. The fact of the matter is, Californians should be reveling in the fact that their head of state is cool enough to hold a knife while talking about slashing budgets.

Your governor's outside interests could be much worse, just ask anyone from South Carolina or New York. Yes, I went there.

Schwarzenegger has been a left-of-the-norm governor since the day he took office. From calling Democrats "economic girly men" to hoisting the Stanley Cup over his head when the Anaheim Ducks won it in 2007, "The Gubernator" has always done things a little differently. So now that he's slinging a blade around in a Twitter video, should we be that surprised? Absolutely not. And is it a big deal? Absolutely not. I wish Bev Perdue, my fearless governor, would show a fraction of the personality of Arnold. Instead, she rambles on in her speeches and makes you think that the government is in the hands of somebody who'd stab herself if she tried to wield a knife as big as Arnold's.

So, California, please quit worrying about Schwarzenegger's quirks. He's personable, hard-working, and has done a good job despite the huge problems that have surfaced during his term. I could think of a lot worse things for your governor to be doing on video than holding a knife for some unknown reason. Just ask the citizens of Washington, D.C.

Besides, some areas of California are pretty rough these days. He's probably just warning the miscreants not to mess with him when he's out amongst the people.

~~ Lank

SEC Media Day Brouhaha

I love college football. I really do. Some of my most enjoyable Saturdays come in the fall when I'm just lounging around, watching two top-ranked teams go at it. But then again, sometimes I hate college football. The smallest issues get blown way out of proportion because the rabid fanbases feed the media flames. This is somewhat palatable during the season because it bridges the Saturdays together. In the offseason, though, I can only take so much of a frivolous story.

Case in point: which coach didn't vote for Tim Tebow as the quarterback on the preseason SEC All-Conference first team. Really? We're a month and a half away from the first game being played and we're bickering over whether or not some coach is slighting a player? My goodness; the preseason all-conference teams are ridiculous to begin with. I couldn't care less if a player is supposed to be good in the minds of coaches in July. Tell me how he does from September through December and then rank him accordingly in the actual all-conference team voting.

The "culprit" turned out to be none other than former Florida coach Steve Spurrier, who instead voted for Jevan Snead from Ole Miss. Snead is a tremendous player and is probably going to have a great season. But he's not better than Tebow. Regardless, if Spurrier honestly felt that Snead was going to have a better season, then he should have voted for him. No biggie. Tebow will get his chance to prove to everyone that he's the best quarterback in the conference; no need to worry about it now. Instead, Spurrier admitted that he made a mistake and apologized for the "oversight". Why does a coach have to apologize for making a preseason selection...while still in the preseason? I just don't get it.

I guess the most annoying that is that it's getting as much coverage as it is. ESPN.com had it as the headline story for several hours on Friday afternoon. Matt Holliday got traded from the Oakland Athletics to the St. Louis Cardinals, possibly tipping the scales in the Redbirds' favor; Mark Buehrle had thrown only the 18th perfect game in MLB history the night before; and your headline story is a preseason all-conference team controversy? Wow. Nicely done, Worldwide Leader. Look, I understand that hype and gossip are part of the fun in college football. However, I'd prefer if that hype and gossip were reserved for titanic matchups and player performances in games. Not preseason predictions.

I'm itching for college football; I just don't want the scratch to come from something worthless.

~~ Lank

Nothing Good Comes From Unisex Names

I'm not a fan of unisex names. I honestly think we should hold a draft and let delegates from each gender decide which names they wish to take. For example, after winning the coin toss for the first selection, the female delegation, being spoken for by Oprah Winfrey, would take "Courtney". With their first pick, the male delegation, led by Bob Seger, would take "Taylor". And so on, and so forth. Ashley, Jamie, Kelly, Terry; they'd all be in play here. No longer would anyone get confused when you told a story involving your friend "Jamie". All questions would be answered with a draft.

The reason I bring this up is because I heard about this story about two young people who are getting married soon, both named Kelly Hildebrandt. Guy and girl, same name. That's just ridiculous. I won't even get into the whole "we met on Facebook because I randomly searched my name, and then he came to visit for some reason, and then we fell in love, and now here it is a few months later and we're getting married" thing. That's for an entirely different post that I just don't have the time or energy to produce right now. The point is, all of the awkwardness surrounding the story could have been avoided if we had a firm system in place to appropriate names to each gender. You don't hear about guys being named "Lisa" or girls named "Rex", so why can't we just make a firm line down the middle, and distribute the unisex names equally? It'll be fun, I promise.

And for the record, no, I don't plan on typing my name into Facebook anytime soon to see if there are any lovely young ladies out there who share my moniker. I don't care how hot she is, it'd be weird telling everyone that I'm dating a girl who shares my name.

~~ Lank

Denzel Being Denzel

Denzel Washington is one of my favorite actors. He's also one of my favorite people in Hollywood (I know, I know, backhanded compliment, but work with me here), because he always gives great interviews and seems to be the epitome of cool. I feel like I could go anywhere in the world with Denzel and he'd be the coolest guy there. So imagine my delight when Denzel met up with Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco at Lakers playoff game and called him out.

Look, I love Chad as much as anybody. He's good for the game, he's very quotable, and (except for last season) he gets it done on the field. Heck, I was there, in Cincy, when he proposed to the cheerleader after scoring a touchdown (thank goodness my Colts held on in that shootout). But his woe-is-me act last season was tired. Complainer Chad is nowhere near as fun as Linestepper Chad. When he's got Roger Goodell and company wondering what he's going to do next, he's a lot more entertaining that when he's got the Cincinnati faithful irritated about hearing him say he wants out.

This is where Denzel comes in.

Being the coolest man on the planet, he can say whatever he wants to somebody, because they have to listen. It's Denzel, for crying out loud. I haven't spoken to Chad personally, but I get the vibe that he's a big Denzel fan too. So when Denzel told him to "straighten up" and "stop fussin'", Ochocinco said, "that's all I needed to hear." Thank you, Denzel; not only for getting Chad in line, but for reminding us that sometimes it just takes a stern talking-to to get somebody's head back where it needs to be.

The next time I have a come-to-Jesus meeting with someone, I'm going to refer to it as "Denzel-ing" them, in your honor.

~~ Lank

Something That Pleases Me: Wikipedia Updaters

Wikipedia is awesome.

I just had to get that out of the way before I begin. Whether it's video game reviews, movie reviews, album release dates (yes, some of us still buy actual CDs), sports stats, historical facts, or random trivia, Wikipedia holds it down. The site is so well-organized and easy to use that it's practically impossible not to get stuck on there for hours at a time if you're not careful. I was looking up stuff on Edmonton, Alberta one day and ended up on Macho Man Randy Savage. Seriously. Whenever my friends and I get into an argument (which is about 17 times a day), one of us always ends up saying "just Wiki it" to get the final word on who's right.

I say all that to say this: the people who update Wikipedia (accurately, of course) are some great people. No pay, no glory, no fame; just putting facts out there for the masses to consume. Being an IndyCar Series fan, I want to instantly know how the results of the most recent race affected the points standings. No problem, 30 seconds after the checkered flag is waved, some kind soul has already updated the 2009 IndyCar Series season page on Wikipedia. Sometimes, I forget when a favorite artist of mine is releasing his new album. Luckily for me, the anonymous heroes at Wikipedia have me covered. I'm curious to see what the population in New York City is these days. No biggie, Wikipedia has it updated with the most current information.

I tried editing a Wikipedia page one time and it didn't end well. I don't know a lot about HTML code, and the templates were all confusing to read. Basically, I got out of there as quick as I could without permanently damaging the page. This only adds to my affinity for Wikipedia updaters, as they bravely tackle HTML in an expedient manner to get a fact-craving soul such as myself the latest news and notes.

So, here's to you, Wikipedia updaters. The next time Bud Light decides to do a "Real Men of Genius" commercial, I hope you're the focal point of the ad. I know one guy who thinks you deserve it.

~~ Lank

Paul Allen Is On a Boat

I'm really glad there's a picture slideshow within the article I'm about to post or otherwise you wouldn't believe me. Paul Allen, co-founder of Microsoft and owner of the NFL's Seattle Seahawks and NBA's Portland Trail Blazers, has an enormous yacht. I mean, ENORMOUS. It has submarines (yes, plural), other boats on board (you know your yacht is gigantic when it houses other boats), a basketball court, spa, pool, bar, immigrant family, six copies of the Zapruder film, O.J. Simpson's real gloves, the last part of The Sopranos series finale, and many other extravagant features. Yes, I made some of that stuff up, but it's not like it'd be out of place on board that yacht.

By the way, as far as names for boats go, "Octopus" is pretty solid. It has a marine feel to it, obviously, but it's not as commonly thrown around as "shark" or "whale". Plus, octopuses (octopi?) have a lot of surface area to them, much like Paul Allen's boat. No word yet on whether the average octopus stows away boats and submarines. Think about it, if somebody said to you, "yeah, my dad's got a boat; it's called 'Octopus'", I guarantee you'd imagine a pretty dope boat, not some lackluster dinghy. Well, I would at least.

As you probably inferred from his titles when I wrote them above, Paul Allen is a very rich man. Supposedly, he's worth around $10.5 billion right now, which is down from the $16 billion he was worth prior the U.S. economy going down the tubes. Owning a $200 million yacht is nothing for him. In fact, he only bought "Octopus" after he got bored with "Tatoosh", his other multi-millon dollar yacht. I just wonder how he decides which one he's going to "drive" when he wants to travel somewhere. Seriously, how does this come about? I might email him and ask how he chooses which yacht to take to Spain or Italy or wherever it is that billionaires ship off to.

I'm not the type to start controversy, but I'm gonna need Paul to do America a favor and step up his yacht game just a bit. It appears as though Roman Abramovich is out-dueling him right now. I know the Cold War is over and all that, but I don't want to lose to Russia in anything.

Ever.

Remember how good it felt when we beat the Russians to the moon (astronaut > cosmonaut)? This is like that, but just a little different. Come on Paul; do it for the children. They need hope for a brighter tomorrow; and nothing says "brighter tomorrow" like owning that baddest stable of luxury yachts the world has ever seen. USA! USA! USA!

~~ Lank

Major League Baseball 2nd Half Lookahead

It's mid-July now. The All-Star Game has come and gone (the American League won again...shocker). The trade deadline is rapidly approaching (will Halladay be traded or won't he). And the playoff races are slowly beginning to take shape. Sure, nobody can truly be eliminated in mid-July and nobody can be crowned division champ so early, but there have been enough games now to know who's for real and who's living on borrowed time.

With that, Skip To My Lank investigates the Division and Wild Card races for your reading pleasure...

American League:

East - Boston's got an abundance of pitching, New York has an abundance of hitting, and Tampa Bay has an abundance of...well, we're not sure yet. With all of the injuries they've suffered, the Rays are still a question mark. We know what they can do based on their American League-winning performance in 2008, but we've yet to see all the pieces come together this season. As of this writing, they're 4.5 games out, and I don't see them ever being whole enough to overtake the Yankees or Red Sox. So, it comes down to Boston and New York yet again. Who gets the edge? I say Boston. Their starting rotation has been great this year (and that doesn't even count Clay Buchholz, who only gets spot starts) and the bullpen, with the recent play of Daniel Bard, is beginning to take form. Despite spending a boatload of cash in the offseason for CC Sabathia and A.J. Burnett, the Yankees have been shaky in the pitching department. If Sabathia is up to his old second-half tricks, Burnett settles into a consistent pattern, and Joba Chamberlain continues his recent successes, the Yankees have a chance. But for now, give them the Wild Card over Tampa Bay, and give the AL East to Boston.

Central - Here's a fun one. Detroit, Chicago, and Minnesota are all within 2 games of one another, and I have no idea who's going to win. Detroit's starting pitching has been lights out, but their bullpen and lineup have been up-and-down. Can Edwin Jackson continue to be great? Will 20-year-old Rick Porcello begin to show his age? Will Justin Verlander keep pitching like an ace? If the Tigers can answer "yes, no, yes" to these questions, they just might win it. However, Chicago has a weird intangible about their team that I can't ignore. With only one All-Star (Mark Buehrle), they have a bunch of scrappy guys who play a lot of close games. We're 92 games into the season, and their run differential for the year is ZERO. That's absurd. I don't think they can continue to live so close to the edge...but maybe I'm crazy. Minnesota probably has the best talent of the three teams in the race, but their pitching continues to be shaky. Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau give them two legit MVP candidates, and Michael Cuddyer and Jason Kubel are solid producers. If Nick Blackburn, Francisco Liriano, Scott Baker, and company can provide enough quality starts to get to the automatic Joe Nathan at the end of games, the Twins will be fine. As the season has shown, however, that's a big if.

West - This has to be Anaheim, right? Yeah, the Rangers are fun and plucky, and the Mariners continue to hang around, but Anaheim's just better than them...I think. The sad event involving Nick Adenhart earlier this year threw the Angels into a tailspin, but recently they've steadied th ship, and Torii Hunter now leads a relatively potent offense that gets better by the day. Kendry Morales has been a surprise for them, and Bobby Abreu has been solid, so I look for Anaheim to hold off Seattle and Texas. My boy Josh Hamilton recently returned to the Rangers, but it may not be enough. Their second-best pitcher is Vicente Padilla, and I just don't trust that. As always, the Rangers will probably score 800 runs and it won't matter. Kevin Millwood has been great this year, but I don't see the pitching depth needed to play deep into October. The Mariners have gotten a career year from Russell Branyan, a standard (read: great) year from Ichiro, and solid pitching from Felix Hernandez and Jarrod Washburn, but they play too many close games to win the division. Eventually, those one-run games are gonna stop going your way. That's just mathematics.

National League:

East - The hotter-than-a-five-dollar-pistol Phillies are starting to distance themselves from the field. New York has been held back by injuries, Florida is held back by inexperience, and Atlanta is held back by a lack of talent. Despite their pitching woes, Philadelphia can still rely on their offense to produce big numbers (especially now that Raul Ibanez is back). If they somehow get Roy Halladay, this division is pretty much curtains...and it may be anyway. Unless Carlos Beltran, Carlos Delgado, and Jose Reyes come back soon (and I mean really soon), the Mets are screwed. Their pitching is atrocious, their second-teamers aren't hitting enough, and the gap between them and the Phillies continues to grow by the day. I included Atlanta and Florida to be nice, but their inability to get firmly above .500 is going to do them in. Each team is too streaky to be taken seriously, and as they continue to go 5-5 every 10 games, Philly is going 7-3 and expanding their lead. It's a game of streaks, boys.

Central - Heart or head? Heart of head? My heart is with the St. Louis Cardinals, because that's my dad's favorite team. My head is with...well, St. Louis! Great, this can work out after all. The Cardinals, Chicago Cubs, Milwaukee Brewers, Houston Astros, and Cincinnati Reds are all within 5 games, but it's essentially a three-team race. St. Louis, Chicago, and Milwaukee are the class of this division and will be battling out until October 4th. I've chosen the Cardinals to win the division because they have Albert Pujols and nobody else does. The guy is simply unbelievable. Throw in the fact that they've got the best starting pitching in the division, and the NL Central should be theirs. Chicago has too many headaches and chemistry problems to worry about (not to mention Geovany Soto and Kosuke Fukudome not hitting), and won't be able to overcome that. Milwaukee has a tremendous lineup led by Prince Fielder and Ryan Braun, but the starting pitching just isn't there outside of Yovani Gallardo, the young wonder.

West - Dodgers. Dodgers. Dodgers. Yes, their rotation is pretty thin, but they've built up such a big lead (8 games) that it won't matter. They did a wonderful job of holding down the fort while Manny was suspended, and now they're in a position to begin tweaking things for the playoffs. As long as the young duo of Chad Billingsley and Clayton Kershaw continue to be great, Los Angeles will have no problem winning this division. A consolation prize for the San Francisco Giants will be the NL Wild Card. Their rotation of Tim Lincecum, Matt Cain, Barry Zito, Randy Johnson, and Jonathan Sanchez (yes, he's inconsistent, but he did throw the only no-hitter this season) will make up for their lackluster offense. It's not hard to win a bunch of 3-2 games when you have starting pitching like that.

So there you have it, the way things will shake out in each division the rest of this baseball season. Just for kicks, I polled a few friends of Skip To My Lank to get their thoughts on midseason World Series predictions. Whose do you like best?

Skip: Boston Red Sox over Philadelphia Phillies
Lank: Boston Red Sox over Philadelphia Phillies
Big Brother: Philadelphia Phillies over Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
Willie P: St. Louis Cardinals over Boston Red Sox
Baseball Mom: Los Angeles Dodgers over Detroit Tigers

~~ Lank

Buzz Aldrin Is a G

I've never been to the moon. Shocking, I know. But I'd like to think, despite that, I'm 1/8 of the man Buzz Aldrin is. I mean, this guy is as rock-solid and opinionated as they come. Sure, he's a bit older these days, but there's no way he's lost any of his spunk. How do I know that?

Because he told people to quit worrying about going to the moon again, and to go to Mars. That's gangster, dude.

The best part is that his comments came directly after two of his former Apollo program colleagues, who were gathered in Washington to celebrate the 40th anniversary of the moon landing, spoke about returning to the moon as a training mission for a trip to Mars.

"America to Mars is what ought to be, not America back to the moon. Why go to the most difficult place, the surface of the moon, to do that (train for a Mars landing)? Why not do those at the space station?" Aldrin said.

I'm telling you, this guy is something else. If I have a fraction of the fire that he does at any point in my life, let alone at his current age, then I will consider that an arrow in my quiver of life. I love his vision; I love his desire to push America to its limits; I love the fact that he's willing to say what's on his mind regardless of the situation or who's in the room. We need more men like Buzz Aldrin; especially in this day and age.

A tip of the cap to you, Buzz; not only for going to the moon, but for keepin' it real.

~~ Lank

Another Reason to Love Minor League Baseball

When it comes to attending minor league baseball games, there's really no downside. The tickets are cheap, the concessions are cheap, the parks are small enough that even with a less-than-stellar crowd they have a cozy feel, and you get some legit promotion nights.

Like Ballpark Wedding Night.

I'm gonna need you to peep that link before I continue...





...ok, got it now?

How awesome is that? Not only did the Lehigh Valley IronPigs allow couples the opportunity to exchange vows at home plate (something I'm now considering doing when I get married in 2031), but they wore TUXEDO JERSEYS to honor the date. Just a wonderful idea. I can't get enough of it. That's minor league baseball at its finest. Major league teams have too much at stake in terms of merchandising and reputation to risk such a thing, but minor league teams? Please, they love anything that brings fans to the stadium and gets them some publicity.

I'm going on vacation in a week, and one of the things on the docket is to attend an Indianapolis Indians game, the Triple-A affiliate of the Pittsburgh Pirates. Needless to say, if the Injuns pull out a stunt anywhere near that of Lehigh, I might become the team's designated blogger out of respect for the organization.

A man can dream right?

~~ Lank

Yeah, It's the Manhole's Fault

So a girl fell into a manhole while texting the other day. I would insert a joke or witty comment here, but I think the actual statement is funny enough. Read the article, it's awesome. The girl tries to blame the sewer workers for not placing a cone or bright orange sign in front of an OPEN MANHOLE. Really? You don't notice a huge hole in the ground right in front of you because you're too busy texting "omg, that was sooo funny!! lol!! :)" to your bff, and it's the sewer crew's fault that you fell?

Again, she fell into an OPEN MANHOLE. We're not talking about some hidden hole in the ground covered by leaves and grass. We're not talking about a small hole in the pavement that crumbles under her weight. We're talking about a hole big enough to fit the width of a grown man in, and it's right in front of her. How does she miss this? Oh, that's right, she was texting. Clearly the sewer company's fault she had an urgent message to attend to. If she can't see an enormous hole in the ground because of her texting session, how are we sure that she would've noticed a cone or orange construction sign? Yeah, I'm not buying it either.

Maybe my favorite part of the article is that her parents "might sue". Might? Yeah right, that's like saying, "Lank might breathe in the next 10 minutes". In today's day and age, when dollar signs are being dangled in front of someone, they take about .23 seconds to go after it. As sad as it is to say, her parents are going to take every opportunity to capitalize on the dumb mistake made by their daugther. If she just pays attention to where she's walking, none of this happens. Yet, the sewer workers are the ones who are considered negligent. Amazing.

You know what really would've prevented this situation? This.

~~ Lank

Barry, You've Got Some Work To Do

Don't worry, this isn't a politically-charged post. I gave up on talking about politics years ago. Nowadays, I choose to focus on things that really matter.

Like Presidents throwing out first pitches at baseball games.

I like Barack Obama. I voted for Barack Obama. However, our Commander-in-Chief has some work to do on his fastball. For those of you who missed it, President Obama threw out the first pitch at the 2009 MLB All-Star Game in St. Louis on Tuesday. His result wasn't entirely terrible; the ball made it the majority of the distance in the air and didn't bounce up there (thanks to Albert Pujols reaching across the plate to scoop it). But Barry, if you want my full confidence, you need to use a bit more shoulder, flatten out the ball's trajectory a little bit, and hit the catcher in the chest.

You know, like your predecessor did. And still does.

Again, this has nothing to do with politics. I voted for both of these men in separate elections and think they both have their good qualities and bad qualities as politicians. When it comes to tossing that cowhide, though, the edge clearly goes to George W. Bush. Hopefully, when the 2012 All-Star Game comes around, Mr. Obama will have gotten enough work in that he'll be able to throw it straight down Broadway on a line. Yes, he's get plenty of other work to do as well, but let's not immediately cast throwing a baseball to the side.

After all, it only seems fitting that our national leader should be good at our national pastime.

~~ Lank

Something That Irritates Me: Kid Leashes

Call me old-fashioned, but I don't really see how it's necessary to strap your kid to anything to keep him/her/it under control. If disciplined properly and reinforced consistently, kids can be prevented from raising hell in public. As a matter of fact, when I was young all my mother or father had to do was call out my name in a certain volume and I dropped whatever I was doing and waited for instructions. Brainwashed? Maybe; but considering people don't make good decisions until at least 16 (there's a reason you can't do anything meaningful in life before then), brainwashing children to do the right thing isn't bad.

These leashes are ridiculous. They're advertised as "child harnesses" which sound a lot better than "kid leashes" because it doesn't explicitly compare the way you treat your children to the way you treat your pets. Think about it, what do people do to their dogs before they take them out in public? Put a leash on them. What do bad parents do to their children before they take them out in public? Put a leash on them. What kind of parent looks at their kid after putting a "child harness" on them and feels satisfied? My goodness. That's just embarrassing. I guess the positive thing in all this is it's easy to identify the bad parents; just look for a kid on a leash and follow the line back to the idiot.

People get up in arms when parents talk about spanking their kids or disciplining them in some other "tough love" fashion. Why is there no uproar when kids are literally put on leashes in public? Where are the child treatment groups on this one? Oh, that's right, they're at the other end of the leash. And you wonder why I give zero credence to those groups. If you really knew how to parent your kid, you wouldn't need a leash to keep them under control.

The next time you see a kid on a leash, do me a favor; ask his/her parent if they put them in a kennel when they go on vacation.

~~ Lank

Good Lookin' Out, ESPN

College football fans everywhere, I have great news for you: Paul Maguire will not be involved in our sport anymore. According to a report by USA Today, ESPN (and ABC, by extension) have decided to shake up their announcing teams. I'm not a big fan of changing teams because you never know if guys will be able to replicate the chemistry that they have with a particular partner, but in this case, I'm all for it. Let's break it down, shall we?

-- Brent Musberger and Kirk Herbstreit remain on the primetime ABC game. Great move; if it ain't broke, don't fix it. I love Big Game Brent, I love Herbie, and I love them together.

-- Sean McDonough and Matt Millen will do the main ABC afternoon game. I'm ok with this. Yes, Millen was atrocious as an NFL GM (I still feel for you, Detroit), but he was a good game analyst for Fox before departing for the Lions' front office. McDonough is one of the best, most professional announcers in the business; I could listen to him do any sport at any time. He's fabulous. I feel like this team has a lot of potential. As long as the chemistry's there, they're going to be fun to listen to.

-- Brad Nessler is moving to ESPN night games with Todd Blackledge. Nessler is my favorite play-by-play guy alive (in the non-Vin Scully category). I didn't like Mike Patrick with Blackledge because...well, I just don't like Mike Patrick, period. He's liable to talk about Ray Lewis' competitiveness at any time and, of course, this happened. Basically, I think Blackledge can be good with a good partner, as he was with Verne Lundquist during his CBS run. After phoning it in with Patrick for a couple years, I'm hopeful that Nessler will bring out the best in him. I'm intrigued by this duo.

-- Bob Greise is going to ESPN midday games. No word on who his partner will be, but I'm guessing it's Mark Jones or Pam Ward. Greise is a very good analyst, and I enjoy his commentary (he and Keith Jackson together was something special). I was upset when ESPN shoehorned Paul Maguire in with him and Nessler, because they had such a good two-man booth going. Hopefully, he won't see this as a demotion and will continue to give good efforts week-in and week-out.

-- Craig James is out of ABC's studio and in the booth with Mike Patrick for afternoon ABC games. This team is going to be terrible. Just bad. But that's ok, because we're keeping these two away from other good commentators who'd have to carry them. Instead, they get to be awful together and we only have one bad team as opposed to two kinda bad teams. Trust me, this is a good thing. It's like we're quarantining them.

-- Jesse Palmer goes to the ABC studio show. This is awesome. I remember not knowing what to expect from Palmer once he went from The Bachelor to ESPN2's studio coverage, but man is he legit. He knows the game inside and out, gives a player's insight when necessary, and oozes cool on the set. Sometimes you really think he's going to say "dude" once he's done with his statement, and I don't think that's a bad thing. He's very concise, quite knowledgeable, and will be an immediate upgrade over the lameness that Craig James brought us every week.

Overall, I'm fine with the changes ESPN has made. It seems as if they knew something was wrong with some of their teams, so they set out to put together effective pairs all across the board. Announcers don't make or break the broadcast of a game, the action on the field does. However, a well-commentated game can easily add to the excitement and intrigue of a game. I expect ESPN's new lineup to perform very well this season, and I'm looking forward to it.

As long as my beloved Seminoles don't have any games commentated by Mike Patrick and Craig James.

~~ Lank

Welcome Back, Entourage Emmanuelle Chriqui

If you're a fan of Entourage, you know that it returned on Sunday night. Quite honestly, the show itself has gone pretty stale over the past couple years (Vince went broke, really? I watch it to see how Hollywood playboys play, not to see people go broke. I could start my own series if I wanted to see that), but it's still a solid way to kill 25 minutes on a Sunday night. However, I'm really excited that the show's back this season. Why?

In a word, Sloan.

Talk about a dime. Goodness.

Emmanuelle Chriqui is back, playing Eric's on-again-off-again flame, Sloan, who looks to have a semi-recurring role this season. Which is great news for every male who watches the show (and I guess some girls, too; I'm open-minded). Let's put it this way, Entourage could suck all season long, and I'd still watch it as long as Chriqui gets sufficient airtime. Honestly, I don't even remember what happened in 3/4 of the scenes she's in because I become fixated on her radiant beauty. And I'm not apologizing for that. Ever.

Welcome back, Emmanuelle; I missed you.

~~ Lank

Home Run Derby Disappointment

The Home Run Derby is one of my favorite events of the year. Yes, it's hokey, and yes, it's contrived, but it always ends up being fun. There's just something thrilling about watching 8 of the best home run hitters in the game hit batting practice balls into the seats time and time again. I'm going to watch it again this year (Monday on ESPN), but I'm going to do so begrudgingly.

We got shafted on the participant selections.

When the National League participants were announced, I had hope for this year's Derby. Albert Pujols, Ryan Howard, Prince Fielder, and Adrian Gonzalez? Don't mind if I do. There have been years past where the creme de la creme have chosen not to participate, but as long as you get a few horses in there, I'm ok with that. So after seeing the NL's lineup, I was excited...until I saw the selections for the American League.

Joe Mauer, Brandon Inge, and Nelson Cruz. Really? That's the best you can do? Look, I realize Justin Morneau (last year's winner) and Josh Hamilton (last year's showstopper) politely declined the invitation. I'm fine with that; they put on a show last year and couldn't be expected to do the same this year. But why were three guys selected who aren't established home run hitters? After dropping two bombs Sunday, Inge now has 21; but his career high is 27. Joe Mauer has 15 at the break...and that's a career high. Nelson Cruz has 22 home runs this season, which is exactly how many he's had the last three seasons...combined. No, really, look it up.

The fourth contestant for the American League has yet to be named, but hopefully they'll choose somebody like the recently-named All-Star substitute Carlos Pena. Or maybe his teammate (and participant last year) Evan Longoria. Mark Teixeira is there, and so is Jason Bay. Please, for the love of all that is righteous, choose one of them. There has to be someone on the American League side that I firmly believe is going to hit more than 5 out tomorrow night at picturesque Busch Stadium.

As you can tell, I'm getting a little worked up over this. I'm sorry that I'm not sorry, but I enjoy the Home Run Derby and I just want to make sure it's reaching its potential this year. Nelson Cruz won't help it do such a thing, nor will Joe Mauer; but at least we have Albert Pujols around to put on a show for his hometown fans.

Albert, I love you. Please make my viewership worthwhile tomorrow night. Thanks, you're the best. No, really, you are.

~~ Lank

Grow Up, LeBron

LeBron James got boomed on. There, I said it. Is it such a big deal? I say no. Everybody gets dunked on from time to time (except for myself, of course), and there's nothing humiliating about it after twenty minutes or so. The big deal is that LeBron had supposedly had officials from Nike confiscate the tapes of the event.

Really?

LeBron, you're one of the best players in the world. Jordan Crawford, who dunked on you, is getting ready to start his sophomore year at Xavier. I doubt anyone thinks he's better than you, or thinks it's a huge deal that he dunked on you. The kid's athletic, got in the right situation during the game, and finished with a slam. No biggie. What's funny is that by attempting to hide the evidence, you have made it a newsworthy story. Heck, they even ran 30-second segment on Wednesday night's SportsCenter about it. Do you think they'd have reported about the dunk had the buzz surrounding the confiscation not been such a big deal? Me neither.

After shunning the Orlando Magic after getting beat in Game 6, I was worried that baby LeBron was coming back out to play. He has a history of dogging it when his team gets down by big margins, controlling all of the content in his interviews, and stringing along Cleveland's fans with subtle comments about whether or not he'll return after the 2009-2010 season (just don't say anything). The fact that he attempted to hide a story about him getting dunked on only adds fuel to the fire. Obviously, a man in his position has a lot to lose in terms of image and publicity if something damaging happens to him. The only problem is that someone dunking on him (in a pickup game at his Skills Camp, no less) is far from damaging.

The best move for LeBron now? Come out, explain to everyone what happened that day, and then release the tapes to YouTube. He saves face, the video gets out, and after we all realize that him getting jammed on isn't such a big deal, we go back to wondering if he'll ever win a title.

That, LeBron, is where your focus should be.

~~ Lank

A Final Goodbye to the King

On Tuesday, the world said goodbye to the King of Pop, Michael Jackson. Over 30 million viewers watched on TV (during a workday I might add), countless others online (such as myself), and thousands who showed up to the memorial service at Staples Center in Los Angeles. I was unsure of what to expect with the service, considering his life and career are unlike anything we've ever seen before or will ever see again.

Yes, Elvis was really, really, really, really popular. But Elvis didn't have prisoners in the Philippines dancing. Yes, Princess Diana was really, really, really, really popular, but black people didn't really care when she died. Yes, the election of President Barack Obama was a really, really, really, really big deal, but he didn't almost shutdown the internet. Basically, Michael Jackson was a huge deal to a huge amount of people; numbers I can't even begin to add up. He was the most famous person to walk the Earth not named Jesus Christ.

Which is why, getting back to Tuesday's memorial service, I didn't know what to expect. Was it going to be over the top? How would the featured guests be presented? Would it feel like a wake or a celebration?

I can honestly say that I was completely satisfied with the whole thing, from beginning to end. The performances were great (I'm especially talking about you, Stevie Wonder), the spoken words were sincere and emotional (Berry Gordy, Brooke Shields, etc.), and not once did anything feel contrived. The highlight of the show was also the most sad, when Michael's daughter, Paris, spoke, telling everyone how much she loved "Daddy" and how he was "the best father anyone could want." As she broke down and fell into her Aunt Janet's arms, I couldn't have felt any worse for a person at that given moment. It was a moment that was unplanned and straight from the heart of an 11-year-old girl who'd just lost her father days earlier; and a moment that I'll never forget as long as I live.

Despite the media's obsession lately with trying to tear away at his image, cloud the circumstances surrounding his death, and rekindle the legal battles that he's faced over the years, I will remember nothing but positive things about Michael Jackson. Everyone who's ever known him speaks of him glowingly, and his humanitarian and philanthropic efforts speak for themselves. Think about it, the dude is in the Guinness Book for World Records for the highest-selling album of all time (1982's Thriller), and he's also in there for donating more money to more charities (39) than any other person ever has. That, my friends, is something we can all admire.

Rather than focus on the bad things or his quirky behavior, I will remember the multitude of timeless music that he gave us, the riveting performances that were given to audiences worldwide, and the time and money he gave to children and disadvantaged people all over the globe. Michael Jackson was one of a kind in more ways than one, and I feel blessed that I was able to witness his star blazing across the sky of the human race.

Long live the King.

~~ Lank

What to Do with A-Rod?

The New York Yankees have a problem. A very expensive one. Over the next 8.5 seasons, they owe Alex Rodriguez the remainder of the 10-year, $275 million contract that he negotiated for himself before the beginning of the 2008 season. I don't know the exact structure of the deal, but we'll pretend it's distributed evenly over the duration of the deal; meaning the Yankees owe him $220 million plus the $13+ million that he'll get for the rest of this year.

Oh, and did I mention that the guy is turning 34 at the end of this month, coming off of hip surgery (and will require further surgery after the season) and batting .246 this year? Ouch.

From the outset, the contract was ridiculous. Even before the PED allegations, the weird photo shoot for Vanity Fair, and his personal life going to hell in a handbasket. Think about it, the Yankees signed a guy who was turning 33 the next season to a TEN YEAR CONTRACT WORTH $275 MILLION. So, New York, you're telling me that a 40-year-old Alex Rodriguez is going to be worth $27.5 million? Really? You honestly thought he wouldn't decline by then? What foresight.

Don't get me wrong here, A-Rod is great. He's one of the 5 best players of my generation (along with Bonds, Griffey, Pujols, and Manny). I fully expect him to get his legs back under him and hit in the .280 range by the end of the season. His power numbers will be fine (relative to the number of games he plays, that is), and he'll end up having a good year; he's just that talented. But there's no defending inking him, or any player for that matter, to a decade-long deal once he's already in his 30s.

In case you're wondering, the money is guaranteed. No out clause here.

So, what will the Yankees do with him? They can't trade him, because nobody will want him at that price. They can't release him, because they're contractually obligated to pay him the full value of the deal. They can't bench him, because they'd have to pay for another third baseman to take his spot, and I doubt they'd find somebody playing for the league minimum who could produce like him, even at age 38. Basically, they're going to have to suck it up and hope he isn't falling all over himself in the latter stages of the deal. As long as he puts up .280/30/110, or thereabouts, I think they can stomach that. Yes, it's a far cry from his 2007 year of .314/54/156 (which just so happened to be the year before he negotiated the contract), but it's solid enough that you don't look completely stupid for paying him that much.

Only a little bit stupid. Ok, a lot.

Will he produce those numbers at an advanced age? No, of course not. Only Manny Ramirez came close to continuing his early-30s production into his late-30s, and he was juicing. Think about it, we're in Year 2 of the contract, and it's already looking like a shaky proposition. Can you imagine what the furor is gonna look like in the the Big Apple when he's 39 years old, hitting .212 and getting paid $27.5 million for it? My goodness.

But at least there's hope for Alex: maybe by then, people will be more concerned with 400-lb. CC Sabathia not being able to make it to the sixth inning in any of his starts. Gotta love the Yankees.

~~ Lank

The Sad Story of Steve McNair

I don't even know where to begin with this whole ordeal. First, I hear that Steve McNair was killed, which was shocking. Then I hear that his boo boo was killed alongside him. Uh, wasn't McNair supposedly a "happily married" father of four? Guess not. Then, it's revealed that his girlfriend is a 20-year-old waitress he met at Dave and Buster's. No, seriously. After examining the crime scene and evidence, Nashville police tell us that it is being classified as a murder-suicide on his girlfriend's part. What drove her to kill him? Quite honestly, we'll never really know, but apparently, she was in financial turmoil, was becoming frustrated that McNair wouldn't leave his family and marry her, and found out that McNair was seeing another woman. Yes, this information is speculation, but it comes directly from friends of the girlfriend, whose name I can't spell and don't feel like looking up.

I am in no way condoning what happened, nor making light of such a serious situation. It's terrible, absolutely terrible, what happened to Steve McNair, and there are no two ways about it. However, the fact that he was gunned down is such a mess of allegations, revelations, and rumors makes the situation even worse. This is straight out of a Lifetime movie. As more and more information comes to the surface, it gets more sad and more surreal. I can't help but say that his legacy in my mind is very much tarnished by the events of the past week.

The worst part of the whole story to me is the effect that this entire episode is having on McNair's survivors. McNair's wife had no idea that her husband was cheating on her, and only found out once she heard the reports of his murder. I can't even fathom what that woman must be feeling right now. Police have said that she is "distraught", and rightfully so. And his children? Goodness. I mean, first you find out that your father has been murdered in cold blood, and then you have to read reports and hear stories about his infidelity towards your mother. This whole story is just sad. I hope that his family is somehow able to overcome the huge tragedies that have occurred recently and live happy, fulfilling lives.

Lord knows they deserve it after all they've gone through in the past few days.

~~ Lank

NBA Free Agent Frenzy

Ok, everyone breathe. Now that the flurry of NBA free agents has somewhat halted (though word of Grant Hill going to New York is currently swirling), let's assess the damage. I'm going to evaluate several moves made this offseason, but only free agency moves. Trades (Jefferson, Carter, O'Neal, Randolph) will not be addressed.

Ron Artest to Los Angeles Lakers - This one has yet to be confirmed because they're still discussing the details of the contract, but he's going to LA. I don't like this move at all for the Lakers, quite honestly. Yes, everyone talks about Artest's ferocious defense and physical offensive game, which is true on both counts. However, they forget that he single-handedly shot Houston out of the Western Conference semifinals against the Lakers. When Yao went down, the Rockets won when Aaron Brooks was running circles around Derek Fisher and facilitating the offense. They lost when Ron Artest started hoisting jumpers and trying to be the alpha male of the series. No really, look it up. Notice the drop off after Yao went out after Game 3. I'm not trying to sandbag Artest, I think he's a good player. However, his combustible attitude combined with his selfish nature do not bode well for his role in Los Angeles. They should've taken his money and given it to Trevor Ariza, someone who knew his role on the team and didn't deviate from it. Speaking of...

Trevor Ariza to Houston Rockets - Obviously, this signing is somewhat of a moot point considering that Yao Ming is injured for the foreseeable future. However, I like that Houston went out and got someone similar to Artest (at least in terms of style, if not stature) to fill his void. Ariza is a good defender on the perimeter and hits open 3s with regularity. The only problem here is that he's unable to defend bigger guys like Artest, which will not alleviate any pressure from Houston's thin frontcourt. Remember, Dikembe Mutombo is also gone this year, so it'll be up to Carl Landry, Luis Scola, Chuck Hayes, and whomever they sign to fill Yao's place to defend down low. Not a bad signing by Houston, but it doesn't make them any better.

Hedo Turkoglu to Toronto Raptors - Now here's a signing I like a lot. Boosted by the wishes of Turkoglu's wife (who preferred living in Toronto to Portland), the Raptors nabbed a guy who can instantly springboard them back into the playoff race. Andrea Bargnani really came of age last season, Jose Calderon continued to be remarkably efficient, and Chris Bosh is Chris Bosh. By adding Turkoglu to the mix, they have a guy who can get his own shot and take the offense to the next level. Imagine Bargnani hitting open jumpers off Turk's penetration. Remember all of those open dunks that Dwight Howard got in Orlando? Chris Bosh should get a percentage of those now that one of the Magic's best distributors is now in Toronto. Calderon's drive-and-kicks will be much more effective with someone of Turkoglu's caliber shooting the treys. The only drawback here is the 5-year length of the contract. Hedo will start showing some slippage around year 3, and may not be a valuable asset in the latter two years. But for now, it's a great move.

Ben Gordon and Charlie Villanueva to Detroit Pistons - What is Joe Dumars doing, exactly? I like both of these moves, but before I get into why, I want to know his thought process. He gets rid of Chauncey for Iverson, but then fires his coach when the move blows up in his face. Now he signs an enigmatic 2-guard (Gordon) who doesn't like coming off the bench in Chicago...to come off the bench behind Richard Hamilton, whom Dumars re-upped to a weird extension after the Billups trade. Really, this guy confuses me. Anyway, I like that Detroit has figured out that the team wasn't good and instead of trying to lure a big fish in 2010, decided to get better now. Villanueva had a very good year for Milwaukee and is seen as a rising talent in the League. Gordon showed his chops in the playoffs with Chicago and may be ready to become the consistent scoring threat we all want him to be. With a starting five of Rodney Stuckey, Rip Hamilton, Tayshaun Prince, Charlie Villanueva, and whomever they decide to sign at center, with Gordon, Jason Maxiell, and draftees DaJuan Summers and Austin Daye coming off the bench, Detroit should be better than last season. Granted, they'll still only be about 6th best in the East, but at least they've added youth and talent, two things missing from last year's team.

Rasheed Wallace to Boston Celtics - Umm, I don't really get this one. Boston, with the aging Kevin Garnett, really needed to find someone to rebound and defend alongside Kendrick Perkins. Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, and Rajon Rondo will handle the scoring. As evidenced by the series against Orlando, they didn't have enough depth down low. But Lank, 'Sheed plays down low, you're saying to yourself. That's true, but he doesn't actually play down low any more. Watch any Pistons game from the last two season and you'll notice the tall guy on the outside shooting contested jumpers and fadeaways. That's Wallace. Also, you'll notice the guy standing around while the big bodies are banging for rebounds and loose balls. Wallace, again. The contract is only a reported 2-year deal, so it's not like they're investing a ton in him. But I really don't see the upside here. The Celtics needed rebounding and defensive help (again, Garnett cannot be counted on to play 82 games any more), but instead got a soft big man who shoots jumpers. Not a good idea.

Jason Kidd to Dallas Mavericks - At the end of the day, Kidd decided not to go anywhere. Not surprising, considering he enjoyed his time there and enjoyed relative success. But if you're Dallas, why are you giving a 36-year-old past-his-prime-and-it's-obvious point guard a 3-year deal for $25 million GUARANTEED? I mean, really, what's the logic here? Is the Erick(a) Dampier contract not debilitating enough for you? Is having Jason Terry signed through 2012 not enough of an investment in old guys? I just don't understand. Dallas isn't going anywhere any time soon. They have a ceiling with this core group of guys, as evidenced by being outclassed in the Denver series last year and the New Orleans series two years ago, both of which occurred under Kidd's direction at point guard. San Antonio is better now than they were last season, Los Angeles is just as good, Denver is just as good, Portland is just as good, Utah will be better; so what exactly is Dallas hoping for with keeping the old gang together? This just baffles me.

So there's my two cents on the big free agent moves of the offseason thus far. Nothing completely reprehensible or indefensible, but also nothing earth-shattering or power-structure-tilting. However, we may be looking back on these moves in a few seasons if they don't work out, because the teams that took gambles may be ruing the day they did.

~~ Lank

Something That Pleases Me: July 4th

As you may have noticed, I've been absent from my blogging exercise for a couple days now. But I refuse to apologize, because I was busy getting my America on. What exactly constitutes "getting my America on"?. I'm glad you asked, because it's quite simple.

Red meat, fireworks, sunburns, and good people.

That's America in a nutshell. Yes, we're famous for much more than that, but starting with those four is a pretty good way to go.

I went out to the Albemarle Sound in eastern North Carolina with my roommate, Uncle Matt, and threw down hard. Lots of sun, lots of playing in the water, lots of jokes, lots of red meat, lots of fireworks (they even let me light a couple fuses), lots of good times. Independence Day has long been one of my favorite holidays because of the patriotism, goodwill, and festivities that surround it; and my trip this weekend only reaffirmed that.

The fact that I haven't quite yet recovered from the holiday weekend is perfect. If I had recovered already, then I would know that I didn't have a very good 4th of July. But as it is, I know that I enjoyed the heck out of the holiday, spent it with good people, and hated for it to end.

Or, as Uncle Matt so eloquently put it as we were lying around and attempting to recover Sunday evening, "man, we got hit by the Fourth of July train."

~~ Lank

Movie Review: "Public Enemies"

As I've mentioned in several previous posts, I've been looking forward to seeing "Public Enemies". Ever since I saw the trailer a few months ago, I have had the feeling that it's a movie I was really going to enjoy. Between the gangster movie theme, Johnny Depp's portrayal of John Dillinger, and the direction of Michael Mann, there's no way I wasn't going to be excited about it. Would it live up to the expectations I placed on it? This is the question that could only be answered by viewing the movie, which I did Tuesday night (actually Wednesday morning) at 12:01 am. Yes, I went to see a midnight showing during the middle of a work week. I told you I really wanted to see it.

"Public Enemies" lived up to the hype...but it took a while to get there.

For those of you who don't know the slightest thing about John Dillinger, that's ok. I realize that not everyone had a grandfather who told stories about him and his escapades (I, like Dillinger, was born in Indiana; Grandpa had to tell us about him or else he wouldn't have been doing his job). For those of you that do know a lot about Dillinger, know that the plot remains pretty faithful to the real story. Obviously, it's Hollywood, so some "creative liberties" have been taken, but it's a pretty firm account of his days as a bank robber. By choosing to focus solely on this period of Dillinger's life (as opposed to making a thorough biopic), the plot is much more focused instead of wandering around through various times in Dillinger's existence. This works greatly in favor of the movie, as we get an in-depth crime drama rather than a watered-down biography.

The first half hour or so of the film, we see John Dillinger (Depp) running around various states, robbing banks and living the good life. We also see Agent Melvin Purvis (Christian Bale) chasing various criminals and attempting to combat the rampant bank robbing going on during the Great Depression. The two stories remain rather independent of one another, however, so the first part of the movie feels a bit disjointed. Basically, I was asking myself, "where are they going with this?"

Luckily for me (and the rest of the people who see this movie), there was a method to the madness. The dual plot eventually merges into one, and, man, does it pay off. The deeper we get into Dillinger's story, the more gripping Depp's performance becomes. The farther along we get into the chase, the more intense Bale's performance becomes. They're reminiscent of two heavyweights fighting to steal each scene and provide the audience with a memorable performance. Throw in lavishly-filmed shootout sequences, authentic settings, and a smartly-paced plot, and "Public Enemies" provides a very riveting movie-going experience. Despite the sky-high expectations I had going in, I was still very satisfied with the film and found myself thinking about it during the following day at work.

In the days of seemingly numerous forgettable movies and lackluster plots, "Public Enemies" provided a nice change of pace; a dramatic story full of substance, told in equally substantial fashion.

~~ Lank

Something That Pleases Me: Karaoke

It's Friday night. You're in a low-key bar, just trying to unwind after a long week at work. All of the patrons are nice enough, but you're not really being friendly to one another; everyone seems content with keeping to themselves. A few hours later, you're all singing the same songs, cheering at the end of each tune, and high-fiving and congratulating yourselves on your respective performances. What changed?

Somebody cranked up the karaoke machine, that's what changed.

Anybody who's ever been part of a karaoke performance, whether on stage or in the crowd, knows that it's a pretty surreal experience. People are actually interested in amateur singers, who don't really sing the songs that well. It's weird. Yet, it's perfect at the same time. There's something to be said for throwing inhibitions to the wind and just belting out a few lines from your favorite song, and others joining you in the exercise.

My take on karaoke was reaffirmed to me this past weekend. Skip's birthday was Friday night, and my brother's was Saturday, so we decided to bless the public with some epic performances. Skip and I have been plotting a flawless rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems" for months now. Upon entering the bar, I signed us up for that very tune. All we had to do then was wait, as our names were relatively low on the list. Time passed, and I would walk into the karaoke room from time to time to check the progress of the list. As I was in there, I noticed that a lot of people were favoring ballads and hard rock songs. I have no problem with this, but I was a little curious to see how our rap act would go over. A couple hours later, it was time to find out.

When the big screen that shows the lyrics to the song told everyone that "99 Problems" was our song of choice, there were some cheers in the crowd. However, it wasn't until we grabbed the mics and started rapping that business picked up. By saying, "I got the rap patrol on the gat patrol/foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed", we might as well have said "everyone stand up right now and make a bunch of noise." The place went nuts. By the time the chorus hit, Skip and I didn't even need to say anything because we had 50 people singing backup. Did we know these people? Well, save for the six or so friends that were with us, no. They just found a tune that made them feel good, enjoyed the fact that two unassuming white boys were up there ripping a Jay-Z song, and decided that they were going to have a good time with it.

At the end of the song, when we said, "you crazy for this one Rick", most people were standing and nodding their heads to the beat, having just finished reciting the chorus in unison. The applause afterwards was loud, not just for us, but because everybody was so thrilled that they'd just genuinely enjoyed the heck out of singing that song. Everyone knew the words, everyone knew the beat, and everyone enjoyed showing that to everyone else. Basically, for four minutes, we were all best friends, rocking out to the same music.

All because of karaoke.

~~ Lank

Radio Wimbledon: My New Best Friend

Work can get boring. Especially when you work in an office building with rows and rows and rows of cubicles, constantly reminding you that you're one of many worthless minions all running the same rat race. When something comes along to break up the monotony, it might as well be christened as a savior.

My newest savior is Radio Wimbledon.

By broadcasting a live feed straight into my headphones at my desk, Radio Wimbledon allows me to hear all of the matches on the main two courts (Centre Court and Court 1). Since Andy Roddick, my favorite tennis player, has played most of his matches on Court 1, I've been able to follow along all tournament. The fact that lovely London is 5 hours ahead means that the action is just cranking into high gear as I enter the workplace. Today's Roddick-Lleyton Hewitt match was spectacular and thanks to my new best friend, I didn't miss a single stroke.

Had I been at home, is there any way I would've listened to nearly 4 hours of a single tennis match on the radio? Highly unlikely. I would've watched the TV coverage, but that's much easier to follow than radio. However, boredom at work means that the tennis match instantly became my number-one priority, allowing me to knock out the hours of 11am-3pm without a problem. Luckily, I sit alone in my group of cubes, so nobody saw me fist-pumping and slamming my head on my desk as the peaks and valleys of the match unfolded.

An underrated part of listening to the matches is the actual commentary that Radio Wimbledon announcers provide. They're usually middle-aged British men who use their awesome accents to produce some rather funny palaver. Some highlights from today's game:

-- "Well, that was a donkey drop; it looked like something you might hit." Apparently, a donkey drop is a rather slow serve.

-- "I tell you, this Roddick is pure showbiz." Not quite sure what he meant by this, but it sounded complimentary.

-- "Trust me, there's more to that story from Saturday night than we can share on the broadcast." Translation, these two old Britons threw back a few pints the night before Middle Sunday and got into some mischief.

-- "Those chants are up there with the finest lyrics of our time." A sarcastic reply to the Aussies constantly chanting, "LET'S GO HEWITT." Apparently, our elderly friends enjoy originality in their cheers.

-- "It helps Roddick that he can take a gander at his shelf of aces and say, 'I'll take this one.'" Probably my favorite quote of the match, the announcers were in awe of Roddick's seemingly endless array of rocket serves that allowed him to crawl out of hole after hole. He had 43 aces in the match, FYI.

As you can tell, there's a lot of quality stuff going on with the broadcasts at Radio Wimbledon. It's not just that it breaks up the monotony of my work day, it's that it does it with such flair. I'm really going to miss these guys next week. Hopefully, Roddick wins Sunday's Final and an American reigns supreme again at Wimbledon.

Otherwise, I'm not going to have anything to look forward to celebrating on Monday morning since my new best friend will be leaving me for 50 weeks.

~~ Lank

Happy Canada Day!

Happy Canada Day and first day of NHL free agency!

It has been an exciting month in the NHL. We have seen the Pittsburgh Penguins winning the Stanley Cup, super stud John Tavares goes #1 in the draft to the Islanders, super stud Victor Hedman go #2 in the draft to the Lightning and a some big name defensemen are being traded around the league like Pokemon cards. The league hasn't been this exciting since we had a Calgary Flames home playoff game, boy those guys know how to rock the house.

The big surprise so far this off season has to be the trading of big name, top line defensemen. Chris Pronger found himself traded from the Ducks to the Flyers, which will help the Flyers compete and contain the likes of Sidney Crosby and Alex Ovechkin. Jay "Bo-Bo" Bouwmeester was shipped from the Panthers to the Flames, which creates a scary pairing for opposing offenses with hard hitting Dion Phaneuf also back there. American wunderkind that was Scott Gomez has also been shipped from the Rangers to the Canadians in hopes of making it out of the first round of the playoffs with more offense.

But all this action has only led up to today. Canada Day.

A couple of free agents for you to keep your eyes on in the coming weeks:

Marian Hossa - Hossa is one of the top wings in the NHL and he will likely only go to a title contender. Keep you eye on where Hossa lands, because once he does, go to Vegas and put down a fat bet that his team will lose in the Stanley Cup final. Sorry Marian, but it just seems to happen that way.

The Sedin brothers - Henrik and Daniel are two great young talents in the league. They have been paired together in Vancouver for the past couple of years, but it might be tough to keep all this talent and stay under the salary cap. My guess is that you will see Daniel looking for a job elsewhere. Henrik is a top line center that you need to have in this league.

Nikolai Khabibulin - The "bulin wall" is a goal keeping prize in this class. The tough Russian net minder has been around for a while and always strong in the net. The veteran presence in the net will demand a lot of attention from teams looking for consistency between the posts. However, being 36 many teams don't want to drop a long term contract on a person that might not be around, or able to play long term.

Martin Havlat - Now this is a situation to keep an eye on. The Blackhawks had an impressive season last year and made the playoff. They want to continue their improvement and become a Stanley Cup contender. Part of being a contender is being able to cultivate and keep your young talent. The 'Hawks have done this with young starlet (and American) Partick Kane, who undoubtedly is the future of the franchise. Another aspect of building a championship team is acquiring skilled veterans who provide leadership and consistency throughout the season and come playoff time, enter Martin Havlat. Here's the catch, Havlat and Kane play the same position. With Kane rising up the ranks of NHL young stars it will be hard for Havlat to get back on the ice with the first line. So this may lead him to move elsewhere around the league. Chicago needs to find a way to keep Havlat for their development as a team continues.

That is your quick off season NHL update. Enjoy the week and Happy Canada Day everybody.

~Dirk - Everything International Correspondent