Dallas Cowboys (6-2): Since we last saw them, the ‘Boys have ripped off four wins in a row, putting them in first in the overrated NFC East. Are they good? Not sure. Beating Kansas City and Seattle isn’t very impressive, but the road win at Philly was pretty good. I think. Regardless, they are winning while everyone else (read: New York Giants) is losing and there’s something to be said for that. With Oakland and Washington comprising half of their schedule next quarter, expect the winning ways to continue in Big D. Grade: A-
Philadelphia Eagles (5-3): As John Wooden once said, “never mistake activity for achievement.” The Eagles have been active, they just haven’t achieved much. Beating Tampa Bay and Washington isn’t anything to holler about, and their losses to Oakland and Dallas weren’t things of beauty. Not a good quarter for the Eagles. Three of their next four games are on the road, so they might want to tighten up the ship sooner than later. Just a suggestion. Grade: C-
New York Giants (5-4): In the second quarter of the season, the G-Men have beaten Oakland and lost four times. Not exactly capitalizing on the strength of that 4-0 start are they? They had a remarkably easy schedule for the first four games, so it’s not too surprising that they’ve lost…it’s just surprising that they’ve lost every single time they’ve played a halfway decent team this quarter. The running game isn’t working, the receivers are inconsistent, and Eli looks bewildered. Not much to get excited about in Gotham. Grade: F
Washington Redskins (2-6): The ‘Skins have only lost four times this quarter…but they had the bye on the fifth week. I’d make a joke about them needing overtime to beat the bye, but I’m better than that. Washington is a mess. There is no leadership, roles aren’t clearly defined, you never know what’s coming next, and morale couldn’t be any lower. Hey now, I was talking about the Redskins, not the government; I can see how you got them confused, though. There must be something in the water up there. Grade: F
Minnesota Vikings (7-1): A solid quarter from Adrian Peterson’s team. Percy Harvin has proven to be a gamebreaker, Sidney Rice has been a relatively consistent receiving threat, and the Jared Allen-led defense has been nasty. There was a slip-up against Pittsburgh, but we’ll blame that one on the quarterback, who will remain nameless for the foreseeable future. Overall, the Vikes are having a great year, and are a team to be reckoned with in the NFC. Grade: B+
Green Bay Packers (4-4): With a quarter consisting of games against Cleveland, Detroit, Minnesota, and Tampa Bay, the Pack had to make it through at 3-1 at least. Well, they lost to a superior Minnesota team at home and then followed that up by sleep-walking through a loss against the winless Buccaneers. Terrible. Their playoff hopes are now in jeopardy, and the schedule doesn’t let up any. Not a good quarter, Green Bay; not a good quarter. Grade: D
Chicago Bears (4-4): All of the goodwill built up after that 3-1 start? Gone. That’s what happens when you go 1-3 over your next for, with the only win coming against the hapless Brownies. Jay Cutler is looking like 2006-2008 Jay Cutler, their running game hasn’t clicked (if anyone sees Matt Forte, tell him he’s needed in Chicago), and that defense has gone into the tank as of late. It’s getting cold in the Windy City these days, and the Bears are falling right along with the temperatures. Grade: F
Detroit Lions (1-7): Uhhh, well, hmmm. I don’t expect much from the Lions, but they aren’t exactly meeting my expectations. They were competitive against the Steelers, which was great; but then they turn around and look terrible against Green Bay and St. Louis. I know, I know, Matthew Stafford was hurt, but he wasn’t all that good in his return against Seattle (5 INTs). Detroit, I love you, but we need some time apart right now. Grade: D
New Orleans Saints (8-0): Don’t get it twisted: being undefeated halfway through the season is a remarkable accomplishment. However, there have been some noticeable chinks in the armor of the Saints. Getting behind early to teams has become the norm, but furious comebacks have limited the damage. I wouldn’t advise them to continue this trend, but then again, if you’re winning, people don’t worry about that stuff. They’ve been impressive this quarter, but not overly so. Grade: B+
Atlanta Falcons (5-3): Just take most of what I said last quarter and apply it to this quarter as well. They’re still not impressive at all (0 wins against teams with winning records), but they’re not shooting themselves in the foot, either (all losses are to teams with at least a 6-2 record). The future schedule isn’t too imposing, so I could see the Falcons getting 9 or 10 wins and me still not being impressed. What a weird team. Michael Turner has finally gotten it going, but Matt Ryan has a 13/10 TD/INT ratio. Whatever, let’s just move on. Grade: C+
Carolina Panthers (3-5): Not as bad as the first quarter of the season, but still not great. They gave away the Buffalo game at home and let New Orleans recover from a double-digit deficit. Sure, 5-3 would be loads better than 3-5, but the Panthers don’t like success. They’d rather grind out a few wins and get to 8-8. Hey, at least they beat Washington and Tampa Bay, right? The Arizona road win was a good one, and shows what this team is actually capable of. Unfortunately, they’re not interested in bringing that type of effort for four quarters every week. I love you, Skip. Grade: C
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-7): They’re terrible, but they won a game. Josh Freeman is showing some promise as the new quarterback. Raheem Morris won’t be the only winless coach in NFL history. They got a free trip to beautiful London, England. Work with me, I’m trying to be positive here. Grade: C+
Arizona Cardinals (5-3): The Cards went 4-1 this quarter and beat some decent teams to boot. Yeah, the Carolina loss was pretty bad, but in the grand scheme of things, they’re positioning themselves for another NFC West title and a return trip to the playoffs. Not bad. They will probably need Anquan Boldin to be at their best, so if someone could return him to the Lost and Found bin, Kurt Warner would greatly appreciate it. Grade: A-
San Francisco 49ers (3-5): One of the highlights of the NFL season for me was seeing Alex Smith come in against Houston and cut it up. I’ve always thought he was a wondrously gifted player who got stuck in the quagmire that was the mid-00s Niners. They’ve been close against the Texans, Colts, and Titans, but were unable to pull of any of those victories. The fact remains that they went 0-4 this quarter. Not good. Grade: D
Seattle Seahawks (3-5): I can’t figure these guys out. I keep waiting for them to turn things around now that Matt Hasselbeck is back, but it’s just not happening. Julius Jones is giving them nothing in the running game and T.J. Houshmandzadeh (no cheating on the spelling) has been a disappointment as a free agent acquisition. There is no rhythm with this team and I don’t know what to make of them going forward. Grade: C-
St. Louis Rams (1-7): The Rams won their first game in forever against Detroit and pushed Jacksonville to OT a couple weeks before that. They’re certainly improving, but there just isn’t much talent in The Lou. They have a lot of fire to them, though, and Lank’s a sucker for effort. Grade: C
New England Patriots (6-2): Everybody has wood now that the Pats are 6-2 and Tom Brady is flinging the football around again. Their three-game win streak (after losing to Denver) has come against Tennessee, Tampa Bay, and Miami. Wow. Yes, I’m skeptical, because their defense still looks a step slow and the offense isn’t as efficient as people are making it out to be. With Indy and New Orleans coming up shortly, we’ll know more about New England soon. For now, I think they’re ok. Grade: B-
New York Jets (4-4): Remember when the Jets were supposedly good and Rex Ryan was the toast of the NFL landscape? Yeah, that’s all gone now. Losing three out of four (with the only win coming against the Raiders) will do that to you. Mark Sanchez looks overwhelmed, the defense doesn’t look as ferocious, and Leon Washington’s broken leg cost them a playmaker. Braylon Edwards is actually trying in New York, though, so that’s a positive. Grade: D
Miami Dolphins (3-5): With a 2-2 quarter, the Dolphins have given some (faint) life to their season. They battled against NO and NE but ultimately fell short in both contests. Their offense is fun to watch and their defense is scrappy, but I’m not exactly forecasting a playoff run in their future. They’re plucky, so they’ll end up with a few more wins, but they are what they are. Grade: B-
Buffalo Bills (3-5): They lost to the Browns this quarter. Enough said. Grade: F
Cincinnati Bengals (6-2): Two wins against Baltimore, a destruction of Chicago, and a slip-up against Houston. That’s the Bengals’ quarter. Not bad at all. That’s a good defense, folks. Carson Palmer is making all the right decisions when it counts, and Big Ced Benson is doing his thing on the ground. I like this team quite a bit. Big shout out to Mike Zimmer; everybody at Skip To My Lank still has you in our thoughts and prayers. Grade: A
Pittsburgh Steelers (6-2): After the defending champs started 1-2, everybody started bugging. Well, they’ve ripped off 5 wins in a row, including triumphs over Minnesota and Denver (at Denver). They’ve gotten back to their winning ways and look sharp going into the second half of the season. You don’t want to be playing this team right now, trust me. Grade: A
Baltimore Ravens (4-4): They’ve lost twice to Cincy and took another L against Minnesota. Basically, we’ve found out that B-more isn’t ready for primetime. Ending Denver’s winning streak was nice, but there’s too much evidence pointing the other way. The defense still isn’t good, and when Joe Flacco has an off day, these guys aren’t winning. It’s that simple. Grade: D
Cleveland Browns (1-7): They won. They fired their GM. They traded their enigmatic former Pro Bowl receiver. They have no idea what to do at quarterback. That’s the Browns in a nutshell. Grade: F
Indianapolis Colts (8-0): Here I was, ready to get jacked about another Colts season (yes, I talk myself into it every November), then the bad news comes. Marlin Jackson, Bob Sanders, and Tyjuan Hagler? Out for the year. Kelvin Hayden and Anthony Gonzalez? Out for a few more weeks with knee injuries. Donald Brown? Bum shoulder. As always, the saving grace is that Peyton Manning is behind center, leading this MASH unit to win after win, week after week. The defense has been superb under first-year coordinator Larry Coyer, but must step up in the coming weeks with two rookies starting at cornerback. Next quarter will tell us a lot about the Colts (NE, @Bal, @ Hou), but for now, I like what I’m seeing from this squad. Grade: A-
Houston Texans (5-4): Heading into their bye week, the Texans should be ok with where they are. Not thrilled, but not disappointed either. Sure, there were a couple lost opportunties (Arizona and Indy), but they have a good record and are positioning themselves for a playoff run. Keep an eye on these guys; I like what I’m seeing from Gary Kubiak’s group. You know, outside of Steve Slaton fumbling every five minutes. Grade: B-
Jacksonville Jaguars (4-4): Not a good quarter for the Jags. Their wins were against St. Louis (in OT) and Kansas City. They got punked by Tennessee and Seattle. This is a team that shows no consistency or resolve whatsoever. If I’m Jack Del Rio, I’m trying to figure out a way to keep these guys motivated week to week. Their upcoming schedule is favorable, but that doesn’t mean much if you blow games you’re supposed to win. Grade: C
Tennessee Titans (2-6): Vince Young has started the last two games and they’ve won them both. Coincidence? Probably. Don’t get me wrong, he’s played well; but he hasn’t been great. Their defense finally decided to stop people and Chris Johnson has been an absolute beast lately. Don’t forget, this quarter also featured the 59-0 pasting against the Patriots. Big demerits for that. Grade: D
Denver Broncos (6-2): You didn’t expect them to go undefeated, did you? This is Big Brother’s favorite team, so I’ll be nice. Kyle Orton has struggled recently, leading to two straight losses. Prior to that, though, there were good wins against New England and San Diego. The Chargers are breathing down their necks, so the Broncos can’t let up, but with two games left against KC, one against Washington, and one against Oakland, they’re virtually guaranteed 10 wins. Will that be enough to win the division? We’ll see. Grade: B-
San Diego Chargers (5-3): 3-1 this quarter, but can we count wins against KC and Oakland? Ok, but only because you made me. Were it not for the Giants choking away that game last week, they’d be 4-4 and in major trouble. However, they’ve been given a second chance at life, and we’ll see how they respond. Denver beat them head-to-head so they’ll need to win the return battle for any chance at the division crown. Grade: C
Oakland Raiders (2-6): Sure, they beat Philly. But they lost their other three quarter games by a combined score of 106-23. I’m no mathematician, but I don’t think that’s very good. JaMarcus Russell is bad, Darrius Heyward-Bey has brought precisely nothing to their passing game, and there is no semblance of a running game. Oh, and can you please fire Tom Cable already? Thanks. Grade: D-
Kansas City Chiefs (1-7): Outside of getting pantsed by the Chargers, the Chiefs had a decent quarter. Close losses to Dallas and Jacksonville, as well as their lone win against Washington, will give this team a bit of confidence heading into the second half of the season. Sure, they’re still a bad team that isn’t fun to watch at all, but at least they’re playing hard and keeping things competitive. It’s like the opposite of Washington. Grade: C-
~~Lank
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