Michael Vick Is Back...(Yawn)

I know, I know. I'm supposed to make a big deal out of the fact that the Philadelphia Eagles just signed Michael Vick. But, quite honestly, I don't care. He's going to be a backup quarterback to a guy who is clearly better than him in Donovan McNabb. Yes, McNabb has the propensity to get injured, but until then (roughly Week 12), this is a non-issue.

For starters, there are plenty of criminals in the NFL, so one signing with a new team doesn't move the Lankster's needle. Ray Lewis was charged in a murder case, Leonard Little killed a woman, Donte' Stallworth killed a man, Randy Moss drove into a traffic cop, Jared Allen has a number of DUIs; I mean, I could go on for days. Forgive me if I don't think it's that big of a deal that another guy who got in trouble with the law is back in the league.

Secondly, Vick isn't that good. "What?," you say, "he ran for 1,000 yards as a quarterback; that's never been done before or since." You're right, but it got his team a nice 7-9 record, it got his coach fired, and he was also the 31st-ranked quarterback in completion percentage. I'm not saying that completion percentage is the be-all-end-all of gauging quarterbacks (after all, David Carr topped the list that year), but it goes to show that he's an inaccurate passer who runs around a lot. How is this helping Philly again?

There's no denying the physical gifts that Michael Vick has. As a diehard Florida State fan, I can remember the 1999 title game (2000 Sugar Bowl), and watching in amazement as he threw over and ran around our stout defense. However, that playground ball doesn't work in the pros, as the guys are faster, smarter, and stronger. Sure, they'll let you run, but only because you're not finding anything open downfield and you have no other options but to tuck it and take off. Plus, the list of guys with abnormal physical gifts, but a lack of superb quarterback ability is very, very long. Jeff George, Randall Cunningham, Vinny Testaverde...you get the idea.

So, in a nutshell, Philadelphia just signed a backup quarterback who has been generally ineffective in his career; and whose strengths are running instead of throwing, which sounds like a square peg in a round hole in the Eagles' West Coast offense. And I'm supposed to think that the weight of the NFL has shifted in some way? No, thanks.

Wake me up when something important happens, like a team getting rid of their Hall of Fame coach and quarterback of the future for a 32-year-old offensive coordinator and re-tread quarterback from a losing team...wait, that already happened? Crap, Denver, couldn't you have waited until AFTER Michael Vick signed so I'd have something substantial to listen to on SportsCenter these days?

I hear Brett Favre still needs a job...kidding. Although it would be fun to see ESPN's headquarters blow up if Favre and Vick signed within a week of each other.

~~ Lank