Do I watch "Dancing With The Stars"? No. Do I know what happens on "Dancing With The Stars"? Yes. Baseball Mom is obsessed with the show (she hopes to be a contestant someday) and always calls me after the results shows to tell me who got booted and who did well. Keep in mind I have yet to see a single episode of the show; but that doesn't deter her from telling me anyway. I have no problem with this, mind you, I just find it rather amusing.
However, I may watch this season. Maybe. We'll see. 50-50.
Why? Well, there are a multitude of reasons. First, the cast this year is pretty legit. Michael Irvin is liable to freak out on his partner and stab her in the neck with a pair of scissors ("SENIORITY!" If you don't get that joke, read Boys Will Be Boys by Jeff Pearlman. Thank me later). Tom DeLay might gain some dancing experience and then open his own dance studio as a front for his laundering schemes. Aaron Carter might...well, be Aaron Carter, which is unintentionally funny by itself. Macy Gray, Melissa Joan Hart, Chuck Liddell; I mean, come on, this season is stacked with potential awesomeness.
Second, the show is a hit and as someone who likes to stay nestled in pop culture, I need to see what the buzz is about. I took a similar approach to "American Idol" during the Jordin Sparks season, but have yet to watch it again. Who knows, maybe I'll actually like "Dancing With the Stars".
Third, I'm all about competition and if I'm going to watch it, I need someone to root for. To me, there's a clear favorite amongst the prospective dancers: Donny Osmond. I say this for two reasons: 1.) he's a child star and has probably danced and sung his way around a stage more times than I've taken a breath. 2.) Donny Osmond is, hands-down, Baseball Mom's favorite celebrity of all time. No, really, he is. If I were to pick any of the other 15 contestants as the favorite, she might disown me. I don't want that to happen.
A couple weeks ago, I was driving to Indianapolis to visit some relatives. Baseball Mom was riding shotgun and proposed that we should put in a CD to pass the time. I agreed. Her choice? The Osmonds, Live in Las Vegas. She knew every word and every note. I was stunned. I knew she loved the Osmonds, mostly Donny, but the rest of them too, but not to that extent. She's had a crush on Donny (sorry, Pops) since probably 1970. Maybe before. I don't know when he blew up, but I do know that 5 minutes afterwards, she was hooked. And still is.
So, Donny, I'm rooting for you, and calling you the favorite. Do it for Mormons everywhere, do it for Marie, heck, do it for Merrill, Wayne, Jay, and Alan for all I care. Just win. My loving mother's emotional well-being, and by extension, my well-being, depends on it.
~~ Lank
No comments:
Post a Comment