The 30 Worst Sports Logos of All Time: #2

As my boy 'Moo and I were sitting through our training class, he turned me on to a website called LogoShak that has a remarkably extensive collection of logos from sports teams and events. Since I needed something new for the blog (and because November has 30 days), I decided to list the 30 worst sports logos of all time. I designated 'Moo as creative director of the project since he a.) found the site before I did, b.) has a good eye for a bad logo, and c.) agreed to go through half of the logos on the site so that I didn't have to spend even more time than I already do with unproductive exercises. I will be listing one per day for the next 30 days. There was no strict criteria; it just had to look ugly. Sometimes the logos were too busy, some of them had terrible color schemes, and some were just way too plain. Regardless, we tried to put together list of the all-time worst for your enjoyment (or displeasure, whichever). Let's keep this train rolling...

#2 - Pittsburgh Xplosion

Prior to actually sitting down and spending a whole 34 seconds on this list, 'Moo and I were convinced that this logo would "win" the top spot on the countdown. Unfortunately for all 17 Pittsburgh Xplosion fans, it came up just short. Take a look at this logo for a minute. Is there anything redeemable about it? Anything? Bueller? Bueller? First of all, it's got a red background. Then, there is a silhouette of the beautiful Pittsburgh skyline, one of the most non-descript skylines in America. To top it all off, there are a few random fireworks "xplosions" overhead, which I guess is supposed to represent the team nickname. Quite honestly, if someone had told me that a second-grade student had designed this logo in 1974 on a first-generation Apple computer, I probably would have believed it. And I don't consider myself to be a very gullible person. Not the most ringing of endorsements for the Xplosion's marketing team, but hey, they played in the CBA, so it's not like anybody noticed anyway. See? I'm an optimist. I can find the positives in anything; even godawful logos. Fun fact about this logo: 'Moo had it as the background on his computer for about two weeks. That got some interesting looks and comments for our logo-savvy department mates.

~~ Lank

Sale Defends Billy Corgan

Apparently, my earlier post about Jessica Simpson inexplicably dating Billy Corgan didn't go over too well with one of Skip To My Lank's faithful readers.

Sale, a good friend of Skip and myself, had a few choice words waiting for me in my inbox when I got to work. Here's what he had to say:

"In response to a post earlier about Jessica Simpson’s dating habits, I must say I am a little displeased. Not because I give a care about what she is doing with her life, but by how little respect was paid to Billy Corgan. Based on the glowing reviews given to her and the author’s stated desire to have her as his own romantic interest, Billy should be praised for pulling down someone so much his junior and so attractive. If you knew a 40-something that hauled in a nice looking 20-something, high fives and man-on-man ass slaps would be in order. And that’s even though you don’t know someone like Billy, which is the crux of my displeasure. Here is a man who shaped me and countless other young people in the 90s with the outstanding music produced by the Smashing Pumpkins. I celebrate roughly their entire catalog and still give it heavy rotation to this day. Bullet with Butterfly Wings is one of the top 5 songs from the heyday of the alternative rock period (don’t get me started on rock music these days). Tonight Tonight, 1979, Geek USA, Cherub Rock, Today…the list goes on. Go ahead and try to say you don’t like the Pumpkins; you’re just fooling yourself. To belittle Jessica Simpson for finding such a catch is wrong and irresponsible. Instead, congratulations Jessica on landing such a hero."

Well, ok then. I still think that Jessica is simply desperate and underachieving and Billy Corgan just happened to be the beneficiary. I'm not convinced that he had to run any game to get her on his arm. Hopefully, Sale and I can just agree to disagree and he'll grant me immunity from one of his patented pummelings.

~~ Lank

The 30 Worst Sports Logos of All Time: #3

As my boy 'Moo and I were sitting through our training class, he turned me on to a website called LogoShak that has a remarkably extensive collection of logos from sports teams and events. Since I needed something new for the blog (and because November has 30 days), I decided to list the 30 worst sports logos of all time. I designated 'Moo as creative director of the project since he a.) found the site before I did, b.) has a good eye for a bad logo, and c.) agreed to go through half of the logos on the site so that I didn't have to spend even more time than I already do with unproductive exercises. I will be listing one per day for the next 30 days. There was no strict criteria; it just had to look ugly. Sometimes the logos were too busy, some of them had terrible color schemes, and some were just way too plain. Regardless, we tried to put together list of the all-time worst for your enjoyment (or displeasure, whichever). Let's keep this train rolling...

#3 - Indianapolis Ice

Sorry to keep inundating you with minor league hockey logos, but I'm true to my vision; so instead of trying to balance the bad logos between sports, I just pick the worst ones and let the demographics fall where they may. You know, I'm like the opposite of a "Real World" cast. Everybody knows I love Indianapolis. It's literally my favorite city in the world. I'm pretty sure I've even been to an Ice game or two. But there's no defending this logo. I could probably spend another 15 sentences telling you everything that I DON'T like about it, but because I love you and respect your limited free time, I'm going to tell you the one thing that I actually LIKE about it (surprising, I know): the image of the Hoosier Dome in the background. Yep, that's it. Indy doesn't exactly have the world's best skyline, so why they chose to include it in the logo I'm not entirely sure; but at least they decided to stay true to form and show off that beauty of a dome. I'm old school, so I still call it the Hoosier Dome, but no matter what you called it, I think we can all agree that it is truly missed. R.I.P. Hoosier Dome; stay classy. Oh, and for the record, in all the time I've spent in Naptown, I've never, ever seen a cocaine-addicted, hockey stick-wielding polar bear roaming around. Just wanted to clear that up. Tell the Indianapolis Chamber of Commerce to send me a check later.

~~ Lank

The 30 Worst Sports Logos of All Time: #4

As my boy 'Moo and I were sitting through our training class, he turned me on to a website called LogoShak that has a remarkably extensive collection of logos from sports teams and events. Since I needed something new for the blog (and because November has 30 days), I decided to list the 30 worst sports logos of all time. I designated 'Moo as creative director of the project since he a.) found the site before I did, b.) has a good eye for a bad logo, and c.) agreed to go through half of the logos on the site so that I didn't have to spend even more time than I already do with unproductive exercises. I will be listing one per day for the next 30 days. There was no strict criteria; it just had to look ugly. Sometimes the logos were too busy, some of them had terrible color schemes, and some were just way too plain. Regardless, we tried to put together list of the all-time worst for your enjoyment (or displeasure, whichever). Let's keep this train rolling...

#4 - Mississauga IceDogs

I like (and by 'like', I really mean 'hate' since this is a countdown of bad logos) a number of things about this logo. First of all, it's from a minor league hockey team, which usually means a lot of fun. Secondly, it's from Canada, and who doesn't like America's hat? The fact that they're so proud of their location that they decided to throw a maple leaf on the logo gets a lot of points here at Skip To My Lank. Can you imagine if more American teams did this? That'd be legit. Anyway, let's get to my favorite part of the logo: Optimus Prime's dog. This is the second time we've featured a team called the IceDogs (although the first one spaced out the nickname into two words), so maybe teams should stray from using it again (get it? Stray? Dog?). There just doesn't seem to be a way to make an "ice dog" (whatever that is) cool. This one in particular looks like the Bionic Man's canine equivalent. Which might make a decent Syfy show, but not necessarily a great sports logo. It doesn't even really look like a dog; it looks like a mask Maximus would wear as he's chopping up Romans. Except that Maximus would make it look a lot more badass. The huge M in the background is a nice touch, save for the fact that you don't really see the middle segments of the M connect. For all we know, it's just a couple of random beams jutting into the Bionic Dog's head. Would that really surprise you with this logo? Yeah, me neither.

~~ Lank

Lank's Take on the Heisman Vote

As many of you know, Alabama RB Mark Ingram won the Heisman Trophy on Saturday night in the closest vote in award history. This irked me for a number of reasons. I'm going to organize them for you to make my opinion look more professional because, you know, it makes me more believable. Right?

1.) Toby Gerhart had a better season - Let's just get to the main reason the decision irritated me. If you're going to go with a running back, why not go with the guy who led the nation in rushing and rushing touchdowns? It's not like Gerhart was playing in some chump conference; he played in the freakin' Pac-10. Gerhart's lowest yardage output of the year was 82 yards (on only 17 carries), and he reached 100 yards in every game except for two. The consistency was there, the production was there, the big games were there (223 yards, 3 TD vs. Oregon; 178 yards, 3 TD vs. USC; 136 yards, 4 TD vs. Cal), and the workhorse factor was there. Gerhart was clearly the best player on his team, was THE reason for their resurgence. Yes, Andrew Luck played well as a freshman QB and coach Jim Harbaugh has done wonders in Palo Alto, but everything started and ended with Gerhart. There were only THREE games this year in which Gerhart didn't have at least 2 touchdowns. That's just ridiculous.

2.) Mark Ingram wasn't the best player on his team - Despite rushing for nearly 200 yards less than Gerhart and scoring 11 fewer touchdowns (in 13 games to Gerhart's 12, no less), there's something else working against Ingram here: he wasn't the best Alabama player this year. Hook them up to a lie detector test, and 'Bama coaches and players will tell you that DT Terrence Cody and LB Rolando McClain were better for them this season than Ingram; and they'd probably make an argument for WR Julio Jones. I know, I know, those guys, due to their positions and class, wouldn't have won in a million years. But when you can honestly say that a guy wasn't the best player on his team, he should have no business winning the most prestigious award in the sport.

3.) Trent Richardson did much of the same things as Ingram when given the chance - The freshman sensation certainly didn't disappoint this year, rushing for over 600 yards and 6 touchdowns this year. When Ingram came out, there was absolutely no drop-off in the rushing attack because of Richardson's brilliance. This isn't a knock on Ingram, so much as it's a testament to Richardson and the offensive line at Alabama; basically, if given the chance, Richardson would have put up Ingram's numbers this year. Gerhart was the only person on that Stanford team (and probably in that conference) that could've done what the did for the Cardinal this year.

4.) People said that losing 4 games this year hurt Gerhart's chances - Really? That's your justification? A guy's team loses a few games despite his tremendous performances and you dock him because of that? Sorry, I was actually watching the games, so I knew it wasn't Gerhart's fault that Stanford was losing. Those who simply look at results and not individual performances probably assumed that Gerhart had a bad game every time Stanford lost. Here are Gerhart's numbers in those four losses: 17 rush, 82 yards, 0 TD; 20 rush, 96 yards, 2 TD; 28 rush, 123 yards, 2 TD; 20 rush, 136 yards, 4 TD. Outside of the unimpressive performance against Wake Forest (the 82-yard game), what exactly did Gerhart need to do better?

At the end of the day, the Heisman vote was, once again, reduced to voting for the most recognizable player on the best team. Think Eric Crouch. Or Gino Toretta. Or Jason White. I hate to lump Mark Ingram in with those guys because it sells his season short, but I don't get the feeling that I'm going to be telling my kids about Mark Ingram's historic 2009 season.

Mainly because there was nothing historic about it.

~~ Lank

The 30 Worst Sports Logos of All Time: #5

As my boy 'Moo and I were sitting through our training class, he turned me on to a website called LogoShak that has a remarkably extensive collection of logos from sports teams and events. Since I needed something new for the blog (and because November has 30 days), I decided to list the 30 worst sports logos of all time. I designated 'Moo as creative director of the project since he a.) found the site before I did, b.) has a good eye for a bad logo, and c.) agreed to go through half of the logos on the site so that I didn't have to spend even more time than I already do with unproductive exercises. I will be listing one per day for the next 30 days. There was no strict criteria; it just had to look ugly. Sometimes the logos were too busy, some of them had terrible color schemes, and some were just way too plain. Regardless, we tried to put together list of the all-time worst for your enjoyment (or displeasure, whichever). Let's keep this train rolling...

#5 - Oakland Senors

Umm, hmmm. Where do I go with this one? I know where I want to go with this one, but I also know that I'm probably not allowed to go there. I'm gonna have to think about how to approach this; give me a minute...

...ok, I think I'm good now. First, a little history. This logo was a controversial choice (no, not because GLAAD objected) because it was never actually used for a team that played a game. When Oakland was granted an AFL franchise, they chose this name and logo to represent the team. However, after being the butt of jokes around the community from fans and media alike, the team owners decided to reverse course and name the team the Raiders. Seriously, Al Davis' struggling franchise could've been called the Senors and had this logo, which would've added more embarrassment than drafting JaMarcus Russell first overall possibly could. Now, for the reason(s) the logo makes my list. Well, first of all, this guy looks queer as a three-dollar bill, and I'm fairly confident that when you're a professional football team, that's not the image you're trying to project. Just a guess on my part. Second, he's winking at me. Why is that? Again, I don't see how anyone who played or rooted for the franchise would be comfortable with this guy. What if they had a mascot that resembled the version and he wanted to hold your kids for a photo-op. Would that fly? I say no. I understand that some parents thought it was cool to drop off their children at Neverland, so anything's possible, but if Mr. Senor tried to scoop up your young'n, you'd punch him in the face, admit it. The charges would be worth preventing psychological damage to your child for the rest of his/her life. One of the most underrated bad parts of this logo are the crossing sabres in the background. What the heck is that all about? You put a winking guy with lipstick who has a rose in his mouth as the foreground of your logo, but you somehow think that adding swords behind him will make the logo seem more imposing? I mean, let's be serious right now. When the swords cross behind the guy in the current Raiders logo, it makes sense because, you know, the guy in the foreground has on an eye patch and a football helmet; not lipstick and a rose in his mouth. Oh wait, never mind; forget everything I just said. I just realized that he has a skull and crossbones on his bandana, so that makes up for all of his "eccentric" qualities.

~~ Lank

The 30 Worst Sports Logos of All Time: #6

As my boy 'Moo and I were sitting through our training class, he turned me on to a website called LogoShak that has a remarkably extensive collection of logos from sports teams and events. Since I needed something new for the blog (and because November has 30 days), I decided to list the 30 worst sports logos of all time. I designated 'Moo as creative director of the project since he a.) found the site before I did, b.) has a good eye for a bad logo, and c.) agreed to go through half of the logos on the site so that I didn't have to spend even more time than I already do with unproductive exercises. I will be listing one per day for the next 30 days. There was no strict criteria; it just had to look ugly. Sometimes the logos were too busy, some of them had terrible color schemes, and some were just way too plain. Regardless, we tried to put together list of the all-time worst for your enjoyment (or displeasure, whichever). Let's keep this train rolling...

#6 - Florida Blazers

There is a problem with this logo; a big one. Basically, umm, how do I say this...NOBODY HAS ANY IDEA WHAT IT IS!! I took a poll of 50 people (ok, 2), and not a single one of them knew what this was. There's nothing about it that says "Florida" and nothing about it that makes me think "Blazer". Again, as I've tried to point out throughout this exercise, the point of a logo is to represent your team with style and give your fans something to wear around with pride. This logo? It accomplishes precisely none of that. If I'm just missing the boat here and there's some sort of underlying meaning with the logo, by all means, let me know. But my goodness, this is just garbage. Florida Blazers fans, you deserve better. Not that there are any of you left because the Blazers played in the World Football League (WFL), which lasted about 17 minutes, but still. There's a principle here, and we at Skip To My Lank like to make sure those principles are upheld for fans of all teams, leagues, and franchises. Seriously, though, what is that? I won't be able to sleep tonight; this mystery will continue to perplex me for weeks.

~~ Lank