LeBron Runs Cleveland Town

Stories like this are what make following sports so enjoyable.

For those of you who haven't heard, late Sunday night (or early Monday morning, whichever), Browns WR Braylon Edwards clocked one of LeBron James' homies outside of a Cleveland night club. Wait, did I say "Browns WR Braylon Edwards"? Because I meant Jets WR Braylon Edwards. Yep, that's right, Cleveland traded the embattled receiver to New York today. Obviously, the two events are mutually exclusive (I think), and LeBron doesn't have that much pull in Cleveland.

Unless he does.

I'm not saying that James had anything to do with the trade, but I wouldn't be surprised if after the altercation the following conversation took place between Cavaliers GM Danny Ferry and Browns coach Eric Mangini:

Ferry: "Yo, Eric, I'm not sure if you heard, but Braylon rocked one of LeBron's friends at a club last night. LeBron is pretty pissed."
Mangini: "What? Seriously? Where was I? Oh, that's right, polishing up my resume'. What do you want me to do about it?"
Ferry: "I'm not gonna tell you how to do your job, but you might want to get rid of him. He's been detrimental to your team lately, and the production hasn't been there. I mean, the guy led the league in drops last year and was partying with Donte' Stallworth before Donte' killed that guy."
Mangini: "Yeah, I know what you're saying. But who would want someone like what you just described?"
Ferry: "I'm glad you asked. The Jets have been pining for a receiver for some time now from what I hear. Chansi Stuckey is ok, but they need somebody better to pair with Cotchery. Maybe they'd take a chance on Braylon; the guy is still talented and may just need a fresh start."
Mangini: "Wait, New York? What? Are you just trying to trade him there so that LeBron gets mad at New York for taking him and might be more likely to remain in Cleveland this summer?"
Ferry: "Whoa, whoa. Come on, Eric, that's a lot of assuming on your part. (lying) I'm confident that LeBron will re-sign with us, regardless."
Mangini: "Alright. Well, let me talk to our people and see what they want to do. Thanks for the heads-up, Danny."
Ferry: "Hey man, any time I can help another one of our teams, I'm happy to do so. (quietly) Now if I can just find a way to get CC Sabathia to take a swing at one of LeBron's friends, I'll be set."
Mangini: "What'd you say?"
Ferry: "Huh? What? Oil? Nah man, I didn't say anything. Later, dude."

I think that's how things went down in Cleveland today. Or something like that.

~~ Lank