Thursday, October 8, 2009

Dancing with the Stars Recap: Week 3

It’s taken a couple weeks, but the favorites are starting to emerge from the cluttered field of celebrities on this season’s edition of Dancing with the Stars.

After getting rid of the extreme dead weight in the first two weeks (Macy Gray, Ashley Hamilton, and Kathy Ireland), the show has picked up steam as each pair is looking better and better each week. Tom DeLay was forced to withdraw from the competition (along with his lovely partner, Cheryl Burke) due to stress fractures in both feet, and Debi Mazar (who you may recognize as Vinny’s publicist in Entourage) was voted off in this week’s results show. Tom was one of the worst dancers on the show, so his absence doesn’t mean a whole lot, but Debi was a bit of a surprise, as she seemed to be performing better than both Chuck Liddell and Michael Irvin. She wasn’t a favorite, though, so she would’ve been gone at some point anyway. Here are my thoughts on the remaining couples:

Mya and Dmitry Chaplin – The clear favorites right now. Mya has used her R&B smoothness and innate dance skill to make each routine look downright flawless. Her rumba this week netted two 10s from the judges and let everyone know who means business right now. If she’s not in the final, then I really don’t know how the show works. Wait, bad example…

Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff – I really want Aaron to go away. From his annoying lisp/accent/attempt to talk cool to his terrible hairstyle, I’m not feeling him at all. Add in the fact that Karina seems like a taskmaster and never smiles, there’s not much to like about this duo. Which could explain why they were in jeopardy of being eliminated this week despite the fact that they’re one of the 5 best pairs on the show. Oh, and did I mention that Aaron cried after messing up his performance this week? Yeah, what a bum; get your swag up, son.

Natalie Coughlin and Alec Mazo – Ol’ girl turned her sexiness on this week. After seeming a little bland and robotic the first two weeks, her rumba to “In The Air Tonight” by Phil Collins was quite the show. She seems to have more charisma and glamour than usual and may have turned the corner in her quest. I’m keeping an eye on her in the coming weeks…for more reasons than one.

Mark Dacascos and Lacey Schwimmer – Another guy I wish would just get off the show already. He’s a solid dancer and doesn’t do anything terrible, but he doesn’t bring much entertainment value. All of his dances seem flat and he and Lacey have zero chemistry. I respect the fact that an Iron Chef can get down on the dance floor, but he needs to stay in the kitchen and out of the ballroom. Speaking of kitchen and ballroom, it was Colonel Mustard in the conservatory with the candlestick.

Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Ballas – My second-favorite couple on the show (I’ll reveal my favorite in just a minute, I know you’re on pins and needles), Melissa was a great influence on a younger Lank. From Clarissa Explains It All to Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Ms. Hart has taught me some valuable lessons. Mark has some serious swag to him. Not only can he get down on the ballroom floor, but he can dance the hip-hop style of the Jabbawockeez as well. He’s not afraid to tell his partner to step her game up, which I respect, but he’s a good enough teacher that he has the calmed-down mother of two looking every bit the part of ballroom dancer. Melissa needs to get a little more personality on the floor, and a little less fear, but if she’s able to get the persona to go with Mark’s moves, this couple could surprise. Wow, I just spent entirely too long explaining that. Oh well.

Michael Irvin and Anna Demidova – Mike, you’re a Hall of Famer and have 3 Super Bowl rings. Clearly you have a lot of physical ability and were one of the most charismatic players in recent memory. However, you’re not a very good dancer. You’re entirely too stiff and think that your million-dollar smile is going to get you into the next round on its own. Well, I guess it’s worked this long, hasn’t it? Don’t be surprised if this couple is the next to go. Getting low scores week after week is bound to catch up to them.

Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough – If not for Mya and Dmitry, this couple would be the favorite to make the finals from the group of female celebs. Joanna has shown that she can be smooth on the dance floor and bring a lot of energy when necessary. Derek’s choreography is always legit and the two make a great pair. With these two doing the lambada next week, the dance floor is liable to catch fire. I’m looking forward to it. No, really, I am. Seriously, quit laughing; I’m a man, I’m 40!!

Chuck Liddell and Anna Trebunskaya – Poor Anna. Every time they dance, I’m convinced that Chuck is going to rip off her arms and eat them. His intensity is apparent in every dance…but that’s not always a good thing. Even when they’re supposed to be fun and romantic, he looks like he’s about fight Rampage Jackson again. Were it not for Michael Irvin, Chuck would win the award for Most Likely To Be Voted Off Next Week.

Kelly Osbourne and Louis van Amstel – The surprise of the season thus far. After blowing her waltz out of the water in week one, Kelly faltered a bit with her tango in week two. Well, this week, she was back on her game with a great rendition of the samba. She seems to be working hard and is getting better, and more confident, every week. She isn’t the most talented dancer on the roster, but she’s winning over the fans with her dedication and underdog storyline. This could get interesting.

Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson – Look, I know I joke about rooting for Donny a lot, especially since my mother will take me out of her will if I don’t, but the guy is a showman. He really is. His rumba was alright, but every time he takes the dance floor, you’re convinced that the dude is going to throw up a 30 (perfect score). His charisma is undeniable and for him to be moving so effortlessly and so gracefully at the age of 51 (that’s still young, right Mom?) is quite impressive. Ladies and gentlemen (yes, I’m assuming more than one of each will be reading this), I hereby declare Donald Clark Osmond as your favorite to reach the finals from the group of male celebrities. He’s a fan favorite (seriously, if you could name one guy who is PERFECT for the demographic of this show, wouldn’t Donny have to be the pick?), he’s got a lot of ability, and I dare you to hate on the guy after watching him dance. He’s legit.

Louie Vito and Chelsie Hightower – Remember how, earlier, I promised to reveal my favorite couple on the show? Well, here they are. Louie is a pro snowboarder whom I had never heard of prior to watching the show, but he’s a cool dude. I feel like he could be sitting on the couch next to me at any time, sharing a Coke Classic and some Starbursts. And Chelsie? Well, let’s just say that during her dance this week, she somehow moved her hips and her booty in a snake-like motion without moving her back or shoulders, and then rotated her body in a similar manner to face the camera. .00235 seconds later, I was madly in love. Girl’s got skills. I would honestly marry her tomorrow if she were to ask me to. I’m not normally a rash decision-maker like that, but when you know, you know. Sometimes it’s as easy as a girl gyrating in a way you’ve never seen before that makes it all too clear for you. I may, or may not, have found the video of their routine from this week online and fast forwarded to that part (2:34), only to then rewind it and watch it 21 times. Maybe. Anyway, she and Louie have tremendous chemistry and really make you feel like you’re watching an actual couple when they dance. Considering a lot of the pairs seem disconnected and scared to touch one another, it’s easy to root for. Go get ‘em, Louie and Chelsie, I’ll be rooting for you.

So there you go. I took a week off from blogging because I’ve been a busy bee lately, but I didn’t want you people (mainly Baseball Mom) to think I’d given up on my quest to watch Dancing with the Stars this season. I’ve seen all the episodes and have enjoyed the early part of the season. Hopefully, as the season progress and we eliminate more of the dead weight, there will be some really good competition among the 4 or 5 pairs that really seem to know what they’re doing.

Either that, or Chelsie will dance solo for an hour each week. I'm fine with either.

~~ Lank

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