I read an article once upon a time that listed the stereotypes of people that you meet in the workplace. They weren't really that accurate, nor were they very funny (probably because people not named Karl Malone are too P.C. to keep it real these days), but there was one in particular that it hit on.
The Veteran.
Basically, The Veteran is that person who's worked at your place of employment for years and years. They can recall the time the company moved buildings, the time they merged with another company, the crazy people that used to work in the department a decade ago; you know, all of that quality stuff. I'm happy to report that not only does my department have a veteran, but our version of The Veteran is the man.
For the four people who read my training class piece, The Veteran is the one who makes the Len Bias quote at the end. Oh yeah, he's that legit.
There are certain topics that will get The Veteran fired up (in a good way), such as the North Carolina Tar Heels, Top Gun, beer, the enormity of America's debt (the man has a solution to our nation's economic problems, maybe I should tell Barry), and anything from the 1980s. And I do mean anything. 'Moo and I spend our days trying to come up with ways to fire up The Veteran without making it too obvious. After all, The Veteran is The Veteran for a reason, and he's not gonna stand for some young punks getting raspy with him. Plus, as animated as he gets when he's fired up in a good way, I'd hate to see what'd happen if he got fired up in a bad way. In a word: death. Unbeknownst to me, but not surprising in the least, The Veteran also has another topic that will take him from a 2 to a 9.4 on the "jacked" scale with the mention of a single word.
Vegas.
One of my roommates is getting hitched in June, so in March, we're all rolling deep to Vegas in order to make some bad decisions, both financially and socially. When I approached The Veteran to get his input on America's Playground, he gave me a Vegas crash course in about 30 minutes with more information than you'd normally get in a weekend there. Hotels, casinos, restaurants, games to play; I mean, the dude was on a roll. The best part was that every recommendation seemed to come with a story to back it up.
My favorite was his story about playing craps (the ultimate team game in Vegas) at a table with about 10 Japanese businessmen. One particular Japanese fellow got the hot hand and was just making it rain on the rest of the table. In order to show their appreciation for his talent, several of the other Japanese businessmen, still dressed in suits from their meeting earlier, picked up the roller over their shoulders and began chanting his name while repeatedly pumping him up and down. Think about that for a minute. That happened. Obviously that's legit, but it's even more legit that The Veteran could recall this story at a moment's notice, tell it in 20 seconds, and have on the floor laughing for the next 5 minutes. All while explaining to me why it's a good idea to play craps in Vegas.
What a hero.
My personal favorite moment of the lecture was when he paid me the ultimate compliment. "Man," The Veteran said, "I'd really like to play craps with you some day, because knowing you, if you got the hot hand, you'd be doing a bunch of crazy shit at the table to celebrate." Honestly, I don't know if that's a back-handed compliment or a straight-up compliment, but I do know that I felt completely honored by his comment. To have a man of his stature tell me that he'd like to be there while I'm setting the dice on fire...I mean, what can I even say to that?
All I can say is that when I head to Las Vegas in a couple months, I'm going to do my best to make The Veteran proud. The lessons he taught me, the experience he passed down to me, and the confidence he instilled in me will be much more valuable than the craps and blackjack books I'm reading in order to prepare, strategically, for the trip. If I just channel my inner Veteran, I know that everything will turn out alright.
It's not everyday that a workplace legend decides to give you knowledge that will benefit you in the future. When veterans pass along such wisdom, it's because they trust you and feel you're ready to learn the tricks of the trade. And by "tricks of the trade," I mean, "stuff that has nothing to do with work, but you need to know it anyway". The Veteran may not be in his prime anymore, but he's selfless enough to ensure that his legacy will still be thriving in today's youth as long as he gives them the proper direction.
So when you see that lanky fellow at a craps table in Vegas the first weekend in March "doing a bunch of crazy shit at the table to celebrate", just know that The Veteran sent him to wreck shop. Don't hate the player; hate the game.
~~ Lank
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